Flipline Forum

General => Off-Topic => Topic started by: Kowhai on October 03, 2013, 05:50:21 PM



Title: Jokes & Riddles
Post by: Kowhai on October 03, 2013, 05:50:21 PM
Post any jokes or riddles here, it doesn't matter if they're good or bad.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: XxSteerAnimeLoverxX on October 03, 2013, 05:54:28 PM
Q. There are two girls in the back of a police car. But who's driving?
A. A police man.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Kowhai on October 03, 2013, 06:01:34 PM
Here's a riddle

Q. We look the same, have the same parents, are the same age, live in the same country and have pretty much the same personality, yet we're not twins. Who are we?

A. Two triplets.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: FlipDragon on October 03, 2013, 06:01:46 PM
Q:There's a black dog in the middle of a black street,there are no street lights on and the moon is not out.Yet a car sees it and turns so he won't kill the dog.
How does he see the dog?
A:It's daytime.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Sharkwizard on October 03, 2013, 06:05:03 PM
There were 101 people on an airplane. Suddenly, the floor fell. Everyone held on to the ceiling. The pilot told everyone that one person must jump off, or they'll all die. The 101st person said she'll do it, and jumped down. The others clapped for her.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: XxSteerAnimeLoverxX on October 03, 2013, 06:06:37 PM
Q: What do you call a bunch of girls running down a hill?
A: Jailbreak.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Papl on October 03, 2013, 06:45:35 PM
There were 101 people on an airplane. Suddenly, the floor fell. Everyone held on to the ceiling. The pilot told everyone that one person must jump off, or they'll all die. The 101st person said she'll do it, and jumped down. The others clapped for her.
I don't get it


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: amjh13 on October 03, 2013, 07:15:24 PM
what do u call a dog thats hot?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on October 03, 2013, 07:17:46 PM
They're hanging on to the ceiling with their hands.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: XxSteerAnimeLoverxX on October 03, 2013, 08:51:20 PM
Q. Where do  you hide a woman's food stamps?
A. Under their work boots.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on October 03, 2013, 11:47:52 PM
They're hanging on to the ceiling with their hands.
thats the must funny one


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Kowhai on October 04, 2013, 12:12:02 PM
Some people probably know this one but:

Q. 100 people were trapped on a sinking ship. Every single one died. They all survived. How?
A. They were all married.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on October 04, 2013, 08:10:39 PM
A neutron walks into a restaurant and asked the waiter "how much for a drink?" and the waiter replied "for you no charge."


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ahfaz12 on October 04, 2013, 10:57:06 PM
They say, "Dogs' food is new and improved" Who tastes it?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on October 05, 2013, 04:47:37 AM
.....talking dogs?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Vinnie on October 05, 2013, 05:28:47 AM
There were 101 people on an airplane. Suddenly, the floor fell. Everyone held on to the ceiling. The pilot told everyone that one person must jump off, or they'll all die. The 101st person said she'll do it, and jumped down. The others clapped for her.
I don't get it
The others also let go when they clapped for her
All the people on the airplane died


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Nukes on October 05, 2013, 06:52:09 AM
Your in a cement room with no way out. Theres a mirror and a table. How do you get out?


A play on words


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on October 05, 2013, 06:55:14 AM
i...cant.......decode...it...


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ElectricAngel on October 05, 2013, 08:43:25 AM
Your in a cement room with no way out. Theres a mirror and a table. How do you get out?


A play on words
You look in the mirror, you see what you saw. You take the saw, you cut the table in half. Two halves make a whole, you jump through the hole


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on October 05, 2013, 08:49:24 AM
wow


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on October 05, 2013, 09:39:44 PM
Your in a cement room with no way out. Theres a mirror and a table. How do you get out?


A play on words
You look in the mirror, you see what you saw. You take the saw, you cut the table in half. Two halves make a whole, you jump through the hole

Follow-up: YOu get out of the room, and you're in a desert. You can't walk to civilization without dying. What do you do?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ElectricAngel on October 05, 2013, 09:47:19 PM
You run to civilization (you aren't walking so...)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on October 05, 2013, 09:52:13 PM
*can't walk or run or any sort of transportation involving your legs.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on October 05, 2013, 10:10:47 PM
What are the next two numbers?
1
11
21
1211
111221
?
?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on October 05, 2013, 10:14:05 PM
312211
13112211

I think...


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on October 05, 2013, 10:16:49 PM
Second number is incorrect (check the last couple digits).


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on October 05, 2013, 10:18:58 PM
Ah..

It's 13112221

Made a little mistake there, oops


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ahfaz12 on October 05, 2013, 10:32:20 PM
3 streets A,B,C had caught fire. Where shall Ambulance go first to rescue?

Read again carefully


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on October 05, 2013, 10:34:08 PM
Nowhere because the fire truck goes to put out fires and rescue people from them, not an ambulance.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ahfaz12 on October 05, 2013, 10:36:16 PM
You are right.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on October 05, 2013, 10:37:56 PM
New riddle: There are three boxes with two compartments each. One box has a silver bar in both compartments, another one has a gold bar in both compartments,  and the last one has a silver bar in one compartment and a gold bar in the other compartment. If you open up one compartment to reveal a gold bar than what is the probabilty of there being a gold bar in the other compartment?
Hint: this riddle is a famous mathematical paradox so the answer is not what you would expect it to be.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on October 05, 2013, 10:40:34 PM
You are right.

YAY :D

New riddle: There are three boxes with two compartments each. One box has a silver bar in both compartments, another one has a gold bar in both compartments,  and the last one has a silver bar in one compartment and a gold bar in the other compartment. If you open up one compartment to reveal a gold bar than what is the probabilty of there being a gold bar in the other compartment?
Hint: this riddle is a famous mathematical paradox so the answer is not what you would expect it to be.

66%. That's either Monty Hall or Bertrand's Box, not sure which.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ElectricAngel on October 05, 2013, 10:42:48 PM
Oh gawd I have heard of the Monty hall thingy. If it was a game show scenario then I would know it was the Monty Hall thingy. I'd say 33%


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on October 05, 2013, 10:43:10 PM
Monty Hall is my favorite riddle.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on October 05, 2013, 10:48:20 PM
The answer is actually 2/3 which is 66.66...%, but I will accept 66%. The paradox is Bertrand's Box. Here is the Monty Hall paradox.
You're a contest on a gameshow with three doors. Two doors have a goat behind them and one has a car behind it. You point to one door and than the host opens another door to reveal a goat. To maximize your chances of winning the car should you switch doors or stick with the door you already selected?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ElectricAngel on October 05, 2013, 10:49:17 PM
Switch it! (I always yell this during game shows involving this)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on October 05, 2013, 10:51:41 PM
Stick with your door.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on October 05, 2013, 10:56:48 PM
Switch, The answer is more obvious when you add several more doors. Imagine the same problem except with 50 doors. You select one door and the host reveals goats behind 48 other doors. Now would you expect you picked the car the first time or one of the goats?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on October 06, 2013, 12:55:10 AM
math can turn into a good quiz..


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Nickito on October 06, 2013, 05:06:20 AM
You are right.

but the ambulance would need to rescue people who are burned or something


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on October 06, 2013, 05:49:03 AM
maybe the candle light it by itself


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on October 06, 2013, 10:36:35 AM
Hmm...

DISCLAIMER: This joke is not meant to offend any Polacks.

An American, a Spaniard, and a Polack were  captured by a local native tribe while hunting. The chief ties them up, and says they can have one item to try to escape. But if they are caught, they will be skinned and turned into a canoe. The American asks for a gun, so the chief gives it to him and unties him. The American runs away, shooting all the natives he sees, until he runs out of ammo. He is captured and turned into a canoe. The Spaniard asks for a horse. The chief gives him a horse and unties him. He rides until the natives surround him, and turn him into a canoe. The Polack asks for a fork. The chief says, "Why do you want a fork?" The Polack replies, "You said I could have anything, so I want a fork." So the chief gives him a fork and unties him. He starts stabbing himself repeatedly with the fork, yelling "LET'S SEE YOU MAKE A CANOE OUT OF ME NOW!"


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: XxSteerAnimeLoverxX on October 06, 2013, 10:43:30 AM
Here's a riddle: There was someone named Stephen __________. He _______ a ____ called _______ ___________. Unfortunately Stephen _____ himself and got ________ by someone called ____ Tibbitt. Now the ____ is ruined.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: SpongeBob29 on October 06, 2013, 11:26:42 AM
Here's a riddle: There was someone named Stephen __________. He _______ a ____ called _______ ___________. Unfortunately Stephen _____ himself and got ________ by someone called ____ Tibbitt. Now the ____ is ruined.


I know the complete riddle on your post:

There was someone named Stephen Hillenburg. He has a show called SpongeBob SquarePants. Unfortunately Stephen left himself and got replaced by someone called Paul Tibbitt. Now the show is ruined.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Nickito on October 06, 2013, 11:28:33 AM
I like this joke:
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a southerner [but certainly not a redneck!], a New Englander, and a Californian), an Argentinian, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uraguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, a Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahamanian, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Taiwanese, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47-53 Africans walk into a fine restaurant. "I'm sorry," said the snooty maître d', "but you can't come in here without a Thai."


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: XxSteerAnimeLoverxX on October 06, 2013, 11:31:54 AM



I know the complete riddle on your post:

There was someone named Stephen Hillenburg. He has a show called SpongeBob SquarePants. Unfortunately Stephen left himself and got replaced by someone called Paul Tibbitt. Now the show is ruined.

[/quote]


Close.

 There was someone named Stephen Hillenburg. He created a show called SpongeBob SquarePants. Unfortunately Stephen fired himself and got replaced by someone called Paul Tibbitt. Now the show is ruined.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: SpongeBob29 on October 06, 2013, 11:33:20 AM
I don't mind for only a verb.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Kowhai on October 06, 2013, 01:19:02 PM
Here's a classic riddle, almost everyone has probably heard it.

Q. A man is walking through the forest with a gun with only one bullet. He comes across a lion, a bear and a jaguar. What does he do?

A. Shoots the lion, drinks the beer and drives away in the Jaguar.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Nickito on October 06, 2013, 01:19:32 PM
um... bear=/=beer


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: XxSteerAnimeLoverxX on October 06, 2013, 02:02:50 PM
Here's a riddle:

I am a ____. I have _ friends. Those friends being: _______ ____, __________, ______ ___, ______, and _________. I live in _________, _________. I am ____ed by ________ ________. Every day I _____ _______ __ ___ _____ ____ _ ____ _______. Her _______ sister is ____ (A.K.A. _________ ____.)  The ______ who _____ with me is _____ the ______. My motto is _________ __ _____.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Sharkwizard on October 06, 2013, 02:07:39 PM
1=5. 2=10. 3=15. 4=20. 5=?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: XxSteerAnimeLoverxX on October 06, 2013, 02:09:56 PM
Sorry, where you talking to me?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Sharkwizard on October 06, 2013, 02:10:27 PM
Sorry, no. Mine was a joke.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: XxSteerAnimeLoverxX on October 06, 2013, 02:12:40 PM
Any ways, try to figure out my riddle.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Soundbord on October 06, 2013, 02:58:00 PM
what do you call a deer with no eyes?
no eyed deer
if you didn't get it
(no idea)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ewn on October 06, 2013, 02:58:39 PM
what do you call a deer with no eyes?
no eyed deer
if you didn't get it
(no idea)
Not funny at all.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Soundbord on October 06, 2013, 03:00:03 PM
what do you call a deer with no eyes?
no eyed deer
if you didn't get it
(no idea)
Not funny at all.
didn't ask you, anyway it sounds better than it looks.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on October 06, 2013, 03:17:13 PM
1=5. 2=10. 3=15. 4=20. 5=?
1.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Soundbord on October 06, 2013, 03:23:31 PM
why did the chewing gum cross the road?
it was stuck to the chicken's foot


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on October 06, 2013, 07:15:53 PM
LOL

why did the turkey cross the road?
it was the chicken's day off


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on October 06, 2013, 07:22:40 PM
Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?
To get to the same side.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on October 06, 2013, 07:24:34 PM
1 + 1 = ??

Answers:

2
11
a window


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on October 07, 2013, 01:14:11 AM
Here's a riddle:

I am a ____. I have _ friends. Those friends being: _______ ____, __________, ______ ___, ______, and _________. I live in _________, _________. I am ____ed by ________ ________. Every day I _____ _______ __ ___ _____ ____ _ ____ _______. Her _______ sister is ____ (A.K.A. _________ ____.)  The ______ who _____ with me is _____ the ______. My motto is _________ __ _____.
i have no idea

what do you call a deer with no eyes?
no eyed deer
if you didn't get it
(no idea)
good one


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ahfaz12 on October 07, 2013, 03:31:54 AM
A mosquito bites a man in day. The man asks, "You bite at night, but you are biting me in the day?"
The mosquito replied, "I am working overtime."


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on October 07, 2013, 04:26:19 AM
not bad


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Sharkwizard on October 07, 2013, 04:50:36 AM
Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on October 07, 2013, 04:51:06 AM
but that clock is expansive


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Hella on October 07, 2013, 05:00:26 AM
1=5. 2=10. 3=15. 4=20. 5=?

25. The results are the number multiplied by 5, hehehe. I like mathematical/sequence riddles <3


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Nickito on October 07, 2013, 05:12:12 AM
i was gonna say that but my post was too long :/


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on October 07, 2013, 05:55:56 AM
but the didnt put the

i cant remember what its called


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Soundbord on October 07, 2013, 08:55:56 AM
Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?
To get to the same side.
ahaha


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on October 07, 2013, 06:56:10 PM
1=5. 2=10. 3=15. 4=20. 5=?

25. The results are the number multiplied by 5, hehehe. I like mathematical/sequence riddles <3
It's actually 1. The first part says 1=5 which can be rewritten as 5=1, and since the question asks what 5 is, the answer is not 25, but 1.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Papl on October 07, 2013, 06:56:38 PM
ROFL, i see what you did there!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ElectricAngel on October 07, 2013, 07:01:51 PM
Oh new one! This might be really easy since you are reading it instead of hearing it.
So you are picking up random people around the country in your bus. The bus picks up two people in your hometown. The bus goes to one city and picks up four people. The bus goes to another city and picks up five people. The bus goes to another city and pick up seven people. Three people from the first city the bus came to and needed to be picked up so the picked them up after picking up four more people. The bus picks up six more people until it reached the destination. What is the color of the bus driver's hair?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on October 07, 2013, 07:05:57 PM
I've seen so many people get the wrong answer to that riddle because they over think it. It's really just simple algebra, the equation x=y can be rewritten as y=x and in this case x=1 and y=5. Those other numbers are just there to throw people off.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: nicccky on October 07, 2013, 07:07:42 PM
Somebody pick a number from 1-1000. (don't say it if you know)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: nicccky on October 07, 2013, 07:10:10 PM
Oh new one! This might be really easy since you are reading it instead of hearing it.
So you are picking up random people around the country in your bus. The bus picks up two people in your hometown. The bus goes to one city and picks up four people. The bus goes to another city and picks up five people. The bus goes to another city and pick up seven people. Three people from the first city the bus came to and needed to be picked up so the picked them up after picking up four more people. The bus picks up six more people until it reached the destination. What is the color of the bus driver's hair?
Whatever color your hair is? (dark brown in my case)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: noname on October 07, 2013, 07:13:07 PM
@3Angels

In my case, it would be brown.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on October 07, 2013, 07:28:21 PM
New riddle (should be easy if you understand time paradoxes): Bill and Bob are arguing about who lost the keys then one says we should use a time machine and stop us from losing the keys. They go back in time and see that Bob lost the keys. They tell Bob that he can not lose the keys and then return home. What is wrong with this conclusion?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: noname on October 07, 2013, 07:29:53 PM
Bob had already been told he can't lose the keys.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on October 07, 2013, 07:31:41 PM
Nope, try again.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ElectricAngel on October 07, 2013, 07:32:15 PM
Didn't Bob already loose the keys, then they told him not to loose the keys


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: noname on October 07, 2013, 07:34:07 PM
What I meant was that it was a stable time loop thingy: Bob gets a visit from his future self and Bill. Bob loses the keys. He goes back in time with Bill.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on October 07, 2013, 07:35:16 PM
No. Hint: If he went back in time not to lose the keys, than what critical event would not have occured.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: noname on October 07, 2013, 07:37:04 PM
The keys would neve rhave been lost in the first place.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ElectricAngel on October 07, 2013, 07:38:18 PM
The time machine is gone because they never needed to time travel because Bob has the keys


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on October 07, 2013, 07:43:14 PM
@abcd: That's only half of the answer. What event would not have occured if the keys were never lost.
@3angels4life: You are very close to the correct answer. What is implied from what you just said.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: noname on October 07, 2013, 07:45:43 PM
Well, Bill and Bob would never go back in time.

Gotta go to sleep.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Sim514 on October 07, 2013, 07:47:42 PM
Somebody pick a number from 1-1000. (don't say it if you know)
0000000


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: XxSteerAnimeLoverxX on October 07, 2013, 07:51:40 PM
Try to figure this out:

sniart ekil I


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on October 07, 2013, 07:54:17 PM
Correct, this riddle is based off of the grandfather paradox. You can read about it here.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grandfather_paradox


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: nicccky on October 07, 2013, 08:07:28 PM
Somebody pick a number from 1-1000. (don't say it if you know)
0000000
That's not a number...


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on October 08, 2013, 03:44:07 AM
i would love to hear more puzzles from joe

Try to figure this out:

sniart ekil I
i like trains

Oh new one! This might be really easy since you are reading it instead of hearing it.
So you are picking up random people around the country in your bus. The bus picks up two people in your hometown. The bus goes to one city and picks up four people. The bus goes to another city and picks up five people. The bus goes to another city and pick up seven people. Three people from the first city the bus came to and needed to be picked up so the picked them up after picking up four more people. The bus picks up six more people until it reached the destination. What is the color of the bus driver's hair?
white?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Hella on October 08, 2013, 03:52:23 AM
He has no hair [cry into a napkin]


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on October 08, 2013, 06:21:41 AM
thats sad


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: cf20 on October 08, 2013, 06:28:11 AM
here's one i found:
Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.
Get it?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: nicccky on October 08, 2013, 07:17:16 AM
Funny!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on October 08, 2013, 07:26:55 AM
why?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Soundbord on October 08, 2013, 07:49:11 AM
A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, why the long face?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: !_Sportakus1_! on October 08, 2013, 08:14:43 AM
math problem:

you have 6 apples and there is 1 pancake on the roof,
how many speed you would take,if you get your hat in japenese?

i think snakes!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on October 08, 2013, 08:16:53 AM
wat


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: XxSteerAnimeLoverxX on October 08, 2013, 09:28:58 AM
Try to figure out this:
!nekcihc CFK ekil seidal meD


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Hella on October 08, 2013, 10:17:12 AM
Try to figure out this:
!nekcihc CFK ekil seidal meD

The way to my heart, take notes whoever is interested in ladies.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: XxSteerAnimeLoverxX on October 08, 2013, 12:22:43 PM
Try to figure this out. It's VERY hard! And no, you can not use google translate. Here's the riddle: Odio la escuela. Es una buena cosa maldita me quedé en casa hoy. Cagaré a las puertas de la maestra, y echarlo a través de su ventana! Haha, toma eso, los maestros culo cojo!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on October 08, 2013, 04:28:04 PM
Oh new one! This might be really easy since you are reading it instead of hearing it.
So you are picking up random people around the country in your bus. The bus picks up two people in your hometown. The bus goes to one city and picks up four people. The bus goes to another city and picks up five people. The bus goes to another city and pick up seven people. Three people from the first city the bus came to and needed to be picked up so the picked them up after picking up four more people. The bus picks up six more people until it reached the destination. What is the color of the bus driver's hair?

Brown. My hair is brown xP


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ElectricAngel on October 08, 2013, 07:45:57 PM
Oh new one! This might be really easy since you are reading it instead of hearing it.
So you are picking up random people around the country in your bus. The bus picks up two people in your hometown. The bus goes to one city and picks up four people. The bus goes to another city and picks up five people. The bus goes to another city and pick up seven people. Three people from the first city the bus came to and needed to be picked up so the picked them up after picking up four more people. The bus picks up six more people until it reached the destination. What is the color of the bus driver's hair?

Yeah, I knew this one was too easy.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: XxSteerAnimeLoverxX on October 08, 2013, 09:12:36 PM
What do you call an all-black beach?
A litter box.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Popickdra on October 08, 2013, 10:34:23 PM
Q: How does Katy Perry like her steak?
A: She likes it Roar(Raw)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on October 09, 2013, 01:22:23 AM
What do you call an all-black beach?
A litter box.
lol


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ahfaz12 on October 09, 2013, 02:28:30 AM
Why is it called a "building" when it is already "built"?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on October 09, 2013, 02:59:33 AM
uh...................................................well if its built would it be demolished?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on October 10, 2013, 04:36:57 PM
Why is it called a "building" when it is already "built"?

A ding?





What's brown and sticky?

A stick.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: XxSteerAnimeLoverxX on October 10, 2013, 04:52:54 PM
What's black and white and goes rolling along the boardwalk?
An african american and a pigeon fighting over a chicken wing!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on October 10, 2013, 04:54:50 PM
#soracist

1
1
2
3
5
8
13
21
34
??
??

which numbers come next? (this is easy)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: XxSteerAnimeLoverxX on October 10, 2013, 05:06:52 PM
What's long and black?
The unemployment line.  XD


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Papl on October 10, 2013, 05:07:22 PM
#soracist

1
1
2
3
5
8
13
21
34
??
??

which numbers come next? (this is easy)
IDK! Tell me!!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on October 10, 2013, 05:10:38 PM
@Papl:

55 and 89. It's called the Fibonacci sequence. Look it up if you wanna.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Papl on October 10, 2013, 05:11:08 PM
oh, I remember that!!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on October 10, 2013, 05:12:46 PM
Yeah, I like those kinds of things.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: nicccky on October 10, 2013, 05:53:10 PM
Somebody pick a number from 1-1000. (don't say it if you know)
I'll choose one, then.

578 > 23 > 11 > 6 > 3 > 5 > 4
4 is the magic number.
How does this work?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on October 10, 2013, 05:55:15 PM
aha i see

the letters in the last number make the next number


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Sharkwizard on October 10, 2013, 06:09:33 PM
What is the largest bird in the world? Spell it.

Use the letters:
o s t r i c h


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on October 10, 2013, 06:12:52 PM
ostrich?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Sharkwizard on October 10, 2013, 06:15:42 PM
ostrich?
Nope!  :P


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on October 10, 2013, 06:16:25 PM
really? huh. i have no idea then.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: XxSteerAnimeLoverxX on October 10, 2013, 06:19:12 PM
Try to figure out this cryptogram:

ELOO LV ZDWFKLQJ


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on October 10, 2013, 06:24:05 PM
No code letter?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: XxSteerAnimeLoverxX on October 10, 2013, 06:28:11 PM
If it's too hard for you, figure this one out: (numbers are what numbers the letters are in the alphabet)

13-25 12-9-19-19-12-5 16-15-14-25


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on October 10, 2013, 06:30:56 PM
MY Lissle pony


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: XxSteerAnimeLoverxX on October 10, 2013, 06:31:46 PM
No, my little pony.



Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on October 10, 2013, 06:32:29 PM
20 is T, btw

OH MY GOD WHY


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on October 10, 2013, 11:54:33 PM
#soracist

1
1
2
3
5
8
13
21
34
??
??

which numbers come next? (this is easy)
@Papl:

55 and 89. It's called the Fibonacci sequence. Look it up if you wanna.
Y U TELL THE ANSWER? ITS SO SIMPLE AND I WANT TO ANSWER IT


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Sharkwizard on October 11, 2013, 04:54:04 AM
What is the largest bird in the world? Spell it.

Use the letters:
o s t r i c h
it.
What is the largest bird in the world? Spell it.

Use the letters:
o s t r i c h


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on October 11, 2013, 07:56:48 PM
Here is another number sequence riddle.
If this pattern continued it will eventually reach a point where three numbers will repeat indefinitely. What are these three numbers?
1000
500
250
125
376
188
94
47
142
71
214
107
322


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on October 12, 2013, 08:02:42 AM
i will answer it lATER


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on October 13, 2013, 06:11:28 PM
Here is another number sequence riddle.
If this pattern continued it will eventually reach a point where three numbers will repeat indefinitely. What are these three numbers?
1000
500
250
125
376
188
94
47
142
71
214
107
322

....

I DON'T GET IT


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: XxSteerAnimeLoverxX on October 13, 2013, 06:13:37 PM
Here's a riddle:



What's 1,090 x 345 divided by 4 x 3 + 65.5?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on October 13, 2013, 07:19:23 PM
....

I DON'T GET IT
Hint: There are two formulas used to find the next number. One is used when the number is even and the other is used when the number is odd.
Here's a riddle:



What's 1,090 x 345 divided by 4 x 3 + 65.5?
That problem is badly worded do you mean:

1090*345
-----------------  +  65.5
4*3

or

1090*345
-------------
4*3+65.5

If the first one is what you mean than the answer is 31,403. If it's the second one than the answer is about 4852.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on October 13, 2013, 07:26:18 PM
4
2
1

wow
took me a long time


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on October 13, 2013, 07:32:55 PM
Correct I would have also accepted 2, 1, 4 or 1, 4, 2. This riddle was based off of an unsolved math problem called the collatz conjecture which states that for every natural number (n) if you use the formula 3n+1 for an odd number and n/2 for an even number and repeat the process you will eventually reach the infinite sequence 4, 2, 1. But there isn't proof this will happen with every number.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on October 13, 2013, 07:39:20 PM
Interesting...


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ElectricAngel on October 13, 2013, 07:51:20 PM
I have one. It is really easy.
It is weightless, but you can see it. You can put it in a bucket and it will make it lighter. What is it?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: amjh13 on October 13, 2013, 07:57:06 PM
the cow jumped over the moon the moon jumped over the cow


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on October 13, 2013, 07:59:59 PM
I have one. It is really easy.
It is weightless, but you can see it. You can put it in a bucket and it will make it lighter. What is it?

A hole.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on October 13, 2013, 08:10:23 PM
Correct I would have also accepted 2, 1, 4 or 1, 4, 2. This riddle was based off of an unsolved math problem called the collatz conjecture which states that for every natural number (n) if you use the formula 3n+1 for an odd number and n/2 for an even number and repeat the process you will eventually reach the infinite sequence 4, 2, 1. But there isn't proof this will happen with every number.
i see


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Papl on November 04, 2013, 05:12:55 PM
i bumped this!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: XxSteerAnimeLoverxX on November 04, 2013, 06:54:36 PM
Q: There was an apartment with three floors. The first two floors were full of girls. The third floor was full of guys. Then there was a terrible tornado. But which group survived?

A: The guy group, since they were all at work.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ravenmaster on November 04, 2013, 06:57:37 PM
Q: There was an apartment with three floors. The first two floors were full of girls. The third floor was full of guys. Then there was a terrible tornado. But which group survived?

A: The guy group, since they were all at work.

Sexist much?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Papl on November 04, 2013, 06:58:33 PM
its EB.....its what you expect from him.


Anyways, find away to cnnect these 9 dots with only 4 striaght lines and you can lift up your pencil to make them. I solved it/


(http://www.seidokan.org/communicator/0398/Image8.gif)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ravenmaster on November 04, 2013, 07:09:57 PM
Brony, I'm not going to quote you anymore, but KNOCK IT OFF.  I am reporting you...again


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: XxSteerAnimeLoverxX on November 04, 2013, 07:12:43 PM
OK, this time, I will srsly stop, OK? Don't.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: noname on November 04, 2013, 07:13:27 PM
Maybe she won't... but I already have.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: amjh13 on November 04, 2013, 07:14:40 PM
a.hat do u call a dog thats hot*like your sweating*
q.a hot dog!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: XxSteerAnimeLoverxX on November 04, 2013, 07:16:22 PM
Not funny.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: noname on November 04, 2013, 07:16:39 PM
Still funnier than your sexist jokes.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: amjh13 on November 04, 2013, 07:16:58 PM
Still funnier than your sexist jokes.
LOL yeha


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ravenmaster on November 04, 2013, 07:18:08 PM
Still funnier than your sexist jokes.

LOL yeha

I agree 100%


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: XxSteerAnimeLoverxX on November 04, 2013, 07:18:48 PM
Since you don't like the sexist ones, I'll just move along to the nationalist ones.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ravenmaster on November 04, 2013, 07:20:02 PM
Since you don't like the sexist ones, I'll just move along to the nationalist ones.

I'll just report those instead


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: amjh13 on November 04, 2013, 07:20:55 PM
me too


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: XxSteerAnimeLoverxX on November 04, 2013, 07:22:29 PM
Alright. Sexist, no, racist, no......I got one! Dirty jokes!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ravenmaster on November 04, 2013, 07:24:20 PM
Alright. Sexist, no, racist, no......I got one! Dirty jokes!

The only dirty joke you are allowed to do here:

Do you wanna here a dirty joke?

Oops, I fell in mud/dirt/chocolate/anything else messy


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Mario the Plumber on November 04, 2013, 07:25:40 PM
Alright, guys, we honestly need to get back to topic, people. This is a jokes/riddles page. Many of us have already reported ExtremeBrony. What is done is done. There is really no reason for him to protest it because he cannot change it.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: amjh13 on November 04, 2013, 07:26:25 PM
Alright, guys, we honestly need to get back to topic, people. This is a jokes/riddles page. Many of us have already reported ExtremeBrony. What is done is done. There is really no reason for him to protest it because he cannot change it.
                                   


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ravenmaster on November 04, 2013, 07:27:00 PM
Okay, got one:

Q: What do you call a Hippie's wifeu

A: Mississippi! (Mrs. Hippie)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: XxSteerAnimeLoverxX on November 04, 2013, 07:30:02 PM
Q: What did the fat lady say when the little kid ran into her butt?
A: "How dare you!"


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ravenmaster on November 04, 2013, 07:31:16 PM
Q: What did the fat lady say when the little kid ran into her butt?
A: "How dare you!"

I don't get it


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Mario the Plumber on November 04, 2013, 07:32:29 PM
Q: What did the fat lady say when the little kid ran into her butt?
A: "How dare you!"
I don't get this...it sounds disgusting to me and I honestly think things like this should be posted here.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Papl on November 04, 2013, 07:33:27 PM
Okay, got one:

Q: What do you call a Hippie's wifeu

A: Mississippi! (Mrs. Hippie)
LOL

Q: What did the fat lady say when the little kid ran into her butt?
A: "How dare you!"
eh?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: XxSteerAnimeLoverxX on November 04, 2013, 07:33:41 PM
Q: When the chicken boss of the Chokey Chicken company hired a new chicken, what happened to her?

A: Poor old chicken didn't make it, and ended up in a box with a price stamp on it, and got taken to the market, waiting for one to take it.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on November 04, 2013, 07:49:50 PM
Anyways, find away to cnnect these 9 dots with only 4 striaght lines and you can lift up your pencil to make them. I solved it/
(http://www.seidokan.org/communicator/0398/Image8.gif)
Start at the lower left corner and draw a vertical line that extends just past the last dot on the bottom row. Now draw a diagonal line in the opposite direction at a 45 degree angle that ends directly above where you originally started. Now draw a line that is perpendicular to the line you started with. Lastly, use a diagonal line to connect the last two dots. Note: you can technically start at any corner just as long as you follow the same steps.
Edit: there are actually four additional ways to solve this in addition to what is already mentioned you can start at any corner and do the steps in reverse order.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on November 05, 2013, 12:12:24 AM
i know how to solve that

Still funnier than your sexist jokes.
this is funny


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: The Real Alien on November 05, 2013, 04:06:17 PM
Why did the boy throw the butter from the window?

To see a butterfly


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on November 06, 2013, 07:42:24 AM
not bad


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ravenmaster on November 06, 2013, 04:49:03 PM
What did I do when Pastaria was announced?

"Scream, and shout, and let it all out!"


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on November 07, 2013, 03:40:14 AM
dont get it


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Popickdra on November 07, 2013, 04:01:28 AM
What did I do when Pastaria was announced?

"Scream, and shout, and let it all out!"
Reminds me of the song scream and shout


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ravenmaster on November 07, 2013, 06:01:02 AM
Reminds me of the song scream and shout

Yup, that's what I was going for.  Stupid, I know


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: XxSteerAnimeLoverxX on November 09, 2013, 12:01:03 AM
A large cruise ship strikes an iceberg and slowly begins to sink. The captain declares he is going to need to remove some weight from the boat or it will surely sink. He says to be fair, and not discriminate, we will have to call out people in alphabetical order to jump off the ship. Everyone agrees this is the only fair way.
The captain then declares "All girls, jump overboard!"
A girl tells her mom "Oh noes, dat be us". Her mom says "No daughter, dats not be quiet"
The captain comes back and says "unfortunately, we haven't lost enough weight yet. I will have to ask all girls to jump overboard."
The girl tells her mom again"Oh noes, dat be us". Her mom says "No daughters, dats not be quiet"
The captain comes back and says "unfortunately, we still haven't lost enough weight yet. I will have to ask all girls to jump overboard."
The girl tells her mom again"Oh noes, dat be us". Her mom says "I said shut up daughter, we be girls today!"


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Popickdra on November 09, 2013, 12:12:30 AM
A large cruise ship strikes an iceberg and slowly begins to sink. The captain declares he is going to need to remove some weight from the boat or it will surely sink. He says to be fair, and not discriminate, we will have to call out people in alphabetical order to jump off the ship. Everyone agrees this is the only fair way.
The captain then declares "All girls, jump overboard!"
A girl tells her mom "Oh noes, dat be us". Her mom says "No daughter, dats not be quiet"
The captain comes back and says "unfortunately, we haven't lost enough weight yet. I will have to ask all girls to jump overboard."
The girl tells her mom again"Oh noes, dat be us". Her mom says "No daughters, dats not be quiet"
The captain comes back and says "unfortunately, we still haven't lost enough weight yet. I will have to ask all girls to jump overboard."
The girl tells her mom again"Oh noes, dat be us". Her mom says "I said shut up daughter, we be girls today!"
Don't get it


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ace Trainer on November 09, 2013, 01:51:00 AM
There was a valentines dance were EVERYONE was a couple. Suddenly A man came in and said: every single one of you get out!. Noone moved. WHY?
A: THEY WERE ALL COUPLES XD


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on November 09, 2013, 03:34:10 AM
fix the grammar


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ace Trainer on November 09, 2013, 05:29:12 AM
done >.<


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on November 09, 2013, 07:06:48 AM
noone?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ace Trainer on November 09, 2013, 07:41:01 AM
OMG is this a spelling test forum?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: nicccky on November 09, 2013, 08:27:59 AM
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Kiefster on November 09, 2013, 08:45:39 AM
Mary's farthar had five daughters
Nana
Nene
Nini
Nono
who is the fith one
Mary is the fith one not Nunu


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Kiefster on November 09, 2013, 08:48:55 AM
Knok Knok
WHO'S THERE
Britney Spears
Britney Spears who
Knok Knok
WHO'S THERE
Britney Spears
Britney Spears who
Opps i did it again!
My joke you might think it was of Kingsley Comedy Show
I made that topic


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ravenmaster on November 09, 2013, 10:55:11 AM
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!

HAHAHAHA!  SO ROFL MOMENT!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on November 09, 2013, 11:05:01 AM
Knok Knok
WHO'S THERE
Britney Spears
Britney Spears who
Knok Knok
WHO'S THERE
Britney Spears
Britney Spears who
Opps i did it again!
My joke you might think it was of Kingsley Comedy Show
I made that topic

pretty funny


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on November 09, 2013, 11:17:36 AM
its funny


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: TomatoTeacup on November 09, 2013, 11:26:28 AM
A family of three went shopping, when it rained. None of them had a jacket or umbrella or anything to protect them from the rain. Only the mother and the child's hair were wet. How did the father not get his hair wet?

He was bald!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on November 09, 2013, 11:43:34 AM
its shiny bald?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: TomatoTeacup on November 09, 2013, 11:45:28 AM
its shiny bald?

Yes. .u.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ravenmaster on November 09, 2013, 01:16:54 PM
A family of three went shopping, when it rained. None of them had a jacket or umbrella or anything to protect them from the rain. Only the mother and the child's hair were wet. How did the father not get his hair wet?

He was bald!

Good one!  I like it!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ace Trainer on November 09, 2013, 01:50:16 PM
Mary's farthar had five daughters
Nana
Nene
Nini
Nono
who is the fith one
Mary is the fith one not Nunu
did you get that from whats my iq?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ravenmaster on November 09, 2013, 02:04:17 PM
He probably did.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on November 09, 2013, 07:18:02 PM
its common question


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: TomatoTeacup on November 09, 2013, 07:19:15 PM
Good one!  I like it!

Thank you. .U.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Kiefster on November 10, 2013, 12:42:03 AM
No i got it from my Dad he has good Riddels


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: jkimnot on November 10, 2013, 08:08:24 AM
I'm Just Kidding


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Soundbord on May 27, 2014, 08:31:06 AM
I got this joke from my cousin... I may not tell it the same but I still really wanted to post it LOL.

So there was this traveler who didn't know much English, and he was walking along some street in the USA when he heard someone saying, "Me me me me me me me!"
Then he walked a bit further, and he heard someone calling out, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!"
He walked further still, and heard somebody else saying, "Goody goody gumdrops! Goody goody gumdrops!"
Eventually, this man reached a forest. He continued to walk through the forest until he suddenly came upon a corpse, when he stopped and stood over the corpse. He was still there when a policeman appeared.
The policeman asked the foreigner, "Who killed this man?"
The foreign guy answered, "Me me me me me me me!"
The policeman asked, "What did you kill him with?"
The foreign traveler responded, "Forks and knives! Forks and knives!"
The policeman asded, "You know what that means, right? You're going to jail!"
The foreigner said, "Goody goody gumdrops! Goody goody gumdrops!"


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: The Real Alien on May 27, 2014, 08:34:01 AM
rofl


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Medium's Curse on May 27, 2014, 09:10:50 AM
Pinocchio, Superman, and Snow White are having a walk.
That is when they see a sign saying "Most Beautiful Woman"
Snow White comes in and later comes out with a crown.
They continue walking unto they see a sign saying "Strongest Man"
Superman flies in and later flies out wearing a golden belt as the trophy.
They continue walking unto they see a sign saying "Biggest Liar"
Pinocchio walks in and later comes out with his head down, crying.
When the other two ask what's wrong, Pinocchio says "Who is Barack Obama?"


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on May 27, 2014, 04:52:01 PM
What did the proton say to the electron? Why are you so negative?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Nukes on May 27, 2014, 06:52:58 PM
1: Why did the clown fall off the swing?
2: Why?
1: I shot it.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Kowhai on May 28, 2014, 03:00:57 AM
The Blue Man lives in the Blue House
The Red Man lives in the Red House
The Yellow Man lives in the Yellow House
The Black Man lives in the Black House
Who lives in the White House?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on May 28, 2014, 04:15:22 AM
oh no

ohno

ono


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ahfaz12 on May 28, 2014, 07:40:15 AM
oho

When I was 4 years old my sister was half my age

Now I am 100 years old. How old is my sister?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: The Real Alien on May 28, 2014, 07:40:47 AM
98


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ahfaz12 on May 28, 2014, 07:42:37 AM
yeah right
most people *cough*facebookers*cough* answer 50


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Zorro Metal on May 28, 2014, 09:36:07 AM
They aren't funny  >:D


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on May 28, 2014, 09:23:53 PM
Albert Einstein's riddle:

1. In a street there are five houses, painted five different colours.
2. In each house lives a person of different nationality
3. These five homeowners each drink a different kind of beverage, smoke different brand of cigar and keep a different pet.

The Question: Who owns the fish?

Hints:

1. The Brit lives in a red house.
2. The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
3. The Dane drinks tea.
4. The Green house is next to, and on the left of the White house.
5. The owner of the Green house drinks coffee.
6. The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
7. The owner of the Yellow house smokes Dunhill.
8. The man living in the centre house drinks milk.
9. The Norwegian lives in the first house.
10. The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.
11. The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
12. The man who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.
13. The German smokes Prince.
14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
15. The man who smokes Blends has a neighbour who drinks water.

Fact: When Albert Einstein wrote this riddle he said only 2% of the population will be able to solve it.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ahfaz12 on May 29, 2014, 04:21:59 AM
LOL TOO HARD
DECODING
Done:
Got Brit/Norwegian at first but when restart I got German


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Medium's Curse on May 29, 2014, 08:39:04 AM
Albert Einstein's riddle:

1. In a street there are five houses, painted five different colours.
2. In each house lives a person of different nationality
3. These five homeowners each drink a different kind of beverage, smoke different brand of cigar and keep a different pet.

The Question: Who owns the fish?

Hints:

1. The Brit lives in a red house.
2. The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
3. The Dane drinks tea.
4. The Green house is next to, and on the left of the White house.
5. The owner of the Green house drinks coffee.
6. The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
7. The owner of the Yellow house smokes Dunhill.
8. The man living in the centre house drinks milk.
9. The Norwegian lives in the first house.
10. The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.
11. The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
12. The man who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.
13. The German smokes Prince.
14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
15. The man who smokes Blends has a neighbour who drinks water.

Fact: When Albert Einstein wrote this riddle he said only 2% of the population will be able to solve it.

This is more like a logic puzzle then a joke.

You guys need to learn the difference.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on May 29, 2014, 11:42:01 AM
it is a riddle
RIDDLE

and i got german tooo


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ahfaz12 on May 29, 2014, 08:56:05 PM
Want a solution?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on May 30, 2014, 04:35:33 AM
really?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ahfaz12 on May 30, 2014, 04:47:45 AM
though it was easy or maybe I am in the 2%.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Rage Mallor on May 30, 2014, 05:48:53 AM
1.  A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''
 
2.  ''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a bloopzu.''
 
3.  ''Dyslexic man walks into a bra''
 
4.  A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!''


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Kowhai on May 30, 2014, 05:19:14 PM
The Red Man lives in The Red House, The Blue Man lives in The Blue House, The Yellow Man lives in The Yellow House. Who lives in The Green House?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Medium's Curse on May 30, 2014, 05:19:48 PM
^

The Green Man


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Kowhai on May 30, 2014, 05:21:35 PM
Incorrect
Try saying it out loud.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Medium's Curse on May 30, 2014, 05:27:14 PM
Plants.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Kowhai on May 30, 2014, 05:33:38 PM
Plants.
Correct.

This next riddle might be easier because you're reading it rather than hearing it.

In a circular mansion, the master is murdered.
The detective who comes to investigate has 4 suspects, the chef, the butler, the maid and the gardener. Here is what they said they were doing:
Chef: I was baking a pie for dinner.
Butler: I was on my way to serve the master a drink.
Maid: I was dusting the corners of the mansion.
Gardener: I was outside raking leaves.
Who committed the murder?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: noname on May 30, 2014, 06:00:44 PM
Maid.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Medium's Curse on May 30, 2014, 06:02:40 PM
The gardener.

He is raking the leaves over the body to hide it.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: The Real Alien on May 30, 2014, 06:03:03 PM
Butler


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Kowhai on May 30, 2014, 06:06:59 PM
Only one of you is right, and that one is...

The Baconator.
She said she was dusting the corners of the mansion, but it's a circular mansion.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Rage Mallor on May 30, 2014, 07:33:44 PM
Ok here's a riddle for you guys:

The person who makes it doesn't use it, the one who has it gives it away, and the one who uses it doesn't know he/she is using it?

The second one:

Another crime has been done. Two police officers has found a man hung tight to a rope with no windows or doors. There is no furniture in the room, not anything else. The room was completely empty. The only clue the officers have found, was a little puddle of water right under the hanging man's feet. HOW DID THE MAN DIE?



Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on May 30, 2014, 07:42:03 PM
1st:
A coffin.
2nd:
The man took a giant block of ice and stood on it. He then hooked the noose to his neck and waited for the ice to melt and for the noose to choke him.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on May 30, 2014, 08:17:03 PM
though it was easy or maybe I am in the 2%.
The part where most people get stuck is where you have to make an assumption about which house the dane lives in using clue #3. While at that point there are only two possibilities it takes a few more clues to prove which one is correct. The other place people get stuck is where you have all the data that the clues help you with directly and you have to find the correct order of houses based on clue #4. Other than these two parts it's very straight forward, but 98% of all people will get stuck on one of these two parts.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ahfaz12 on May 30, 2014, 10:18:41 PM
I left the clue 3 and filled others, when were known, then I put in the Dane.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on May 30, 2014, 11:12:08 PM
At some point you have to make an assumption and prove that the assumption is right or wrong.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: TomatoTeacup on May 31, 2014, 12:22:49 AM
It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time. This little test should help you get started.

During a visit to a mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criteria is that defines if a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub. Then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the bathtub."

Okay, here's your test:
1. Would you use the spoon?
2. Would you use the teacup?
3. Would you use the bucket?

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket, as it is larger than the spoon."
What was the director's response?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on May 31, 2014, 12:29:51 AM
i dunno... what?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on May 31, 2014, 12:45:05 AM
well, a normal person would pull the plug.

and then i forgot the rest


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Zorro Metal on May 31, 2014, 02:50:59 AM
These aren't funnny  :(


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Kowhai on May 31, 2014, 03:17:38 AM
These aren't funnny  :(
Then tell some 'funnny' ones.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: TomatoTeacup on May 31, 2014, 05:37:56 AM
Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Dave.

Dave who?

Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ahfaz12 on May 31, 2014, 08:23:45 AM
Knock knock
Who is there?
Ach
Ach who?
Bless you.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: TomatoTeacup on June 01, 2014, 01:06:14 AM
Knock knock

Who's there?

I need toop

I need toop who?

Ugh gross! Go to the toilet!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Rage Mallor on June 01, 2014, 04:34:04 AM
On a winter day someone knocked on my door,

Knock Knock,

Who's There?

Just?

Just who?

Justin Bei-

NO NO NO!! Go live in the snow.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: TomatoTeacup on June 01, 2014, 12:22:13 PM
A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on June 01, 2014, 12:48:18 PM
A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.

LOL


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: yoshilover99 on June 01, 2014, 12:50:03 PM
Why did the painting go to court?

He got "framed"!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Rage Mallor on June 01, 2014, 06:56:26 PM
A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.

LOL! I get it.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ElectricAngel on June 01, 2014, 07:45:55 PM
I got a riddle. Pretty simple actually. If you know it please wait for one wrong guess then you can blurt it out.

There are six glasses. The first three are filled with milk and the other three are filled with nothing. The order is milk milk milk empty empty empty. How can you make the order milk empty milk empty milk empty if you can only move one glass?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Medium's Curse on June 01, 2014, 08:09:10 PM
Pour the milk into the order of milk empty milk empty milk empty.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Kowhai on June 01, 2014, 10:34:13 PM
Pour Cup 2 milk into Cup 5

Alternative: Pour out the milk of cup number two, using your only move, then fill up cup 5.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on June 01, 2014, 11:30:23 PM
Why didn’t the Dog Star laugh at the joke?
It was too Sirius.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Medium's Curse on June 02, 2014, 06:43:02 AM
Why didn’t the Dog Star laugh at the joke?
It was too Sirius.

 XD Good one!
Why did the painting go to court?

He got "framed"!

This one is also good!  XD


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ElectricAngel on June 02, 2014, 07:48:35 PM
When is a door not a door?
When it is ajar.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Rage Mallor on June 02, 2014, 09:37:23 PM
ROFL!

I got three pretty simple riddles:

1. Jake rode to town on Friday. But the next day was Sunday. How so?
2. Where does the General keep his armies?
3. What gets bigger the more you take away?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: magicmusic on June 02, 2014, 09:46:01 PM
ROFL!

I got a pretty simple riddle:

1. Jake rode to town on Friday. But the next day was Sunday. How so?
2. Where does the General keep his armies?
3. What gets bigger the more you take away?
hmm.... this is one really interesting riddle, this have three question in it!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Rage Mallor on June 02, 2014, 09:50:36 PM
I found a typo nazi here...

Modified.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: gimmicks on June 03, 2014, 12:30:45 PM
ROFL!

I got three pretty simple riddles:

1. Jake rode to town on Friday. But the next day was Sunday. How so?
2. Where does the General keep his armies?
3. What gets bigger the more you take away?

in order: his horse's name was friday, in his sleevies, a hole


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ElectricAngel on June 03, 2014, 07:13:27 PM
What is something that belongs to you, but is used more by others?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ahfaz12 on June 04, 2014, 12:09:55 AM
umm i don't know

There is a sound you make but you don't hear it. Only other people hear it.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: The Real Alien on June 04, 2014, 02:06:26 AM
What is something that belongs to you, but is used more by others?
My name


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Kowhai on June 07, 2014, 04:13:54 PM
Joke title: Grammar Nazi Panda

A panda walks into a bar. He eats some peanuts, pulls out a revolver and fires a couple of shots into the air.
"Why did you do that?" asks the barman as the panda makes his way to the exit.
"I'm a panda." the panda replies as he throws a wildlife book to the barman "Look it up." The barman opens to the page about pandas, and, sure enough, found this:

Panda
Large black-and-white mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: TomatoTeacup on June 07, 2014, 04:57:05 PM
umm i don't know

There is a sound you make but you don't hear it. Only other people hear it.

I dunno, snoring?

What is the next item in the sequence?: J F M A M J J A S O N _


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ahfaz12 on June 07, 2014, 07:59:15 PM
Yup @teacup


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: noname on June 07, 2014, 07:59:53 PM
D


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ElectricAngel on June 08, 2014, 12:17:08 PM
My name
correct  :cheery:


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Medium's Curse on June 08, 2014, 12:24:11 PM
You leave home, and take three left turns. Once you arrive, there is a guy in a cap, and a guy in a mask.

Who are they and why are they here?

Hint:
It has something to do with a ball.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on June 08, 2014, 12:29:32 PM
Johnny's mom had 3 kids, May, and June. What was the other one?
GRUMPY PANTZ [Johnny]


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on June 08, 2014, 12:35:41 PM
IDK APRIL!? :p


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on June 08, 2014, 12:39:04 PM
frk?

http://www.flipline.com/forum/index.php?topic=11455.0


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Nickito on June 08, 2014, 12:39:31 PM
Johnny's mom had 3 kids, May, and June. What was the other one?
Johnny
Johnny had 3 kids. May, June. What was the other one?
...


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Medium's Curse on June 08, 2014, 12:43:58 PM
You leave home, and take three left turns. Once you arrive, there is a guy in a cap, and a guy in a mask.

Who are they and why are they here?

Hint:
It has something to do with a ball.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ElectricAngel on June 08, 2014, 12:59:36 PM
IDK APRIL!? :p

I don't know why but I laughed at this


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: The Real Alien on June 08, 2014, 01:29:08 PM
Johnny had 3 kids. May, June. What was the other one?
they are all dead because he had :p


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Brycycle on June 08, 2014, 06:44:24 PM
That's clever... and weird


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ElectricAngel on June 08, 2014, 07:14:49 PM
Well poor Johnny he lost three kids


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on June 11, 2014, 10:38:31 PM
Here's a funny math (logic) joke:
Three logicians walk into a diner. The waitress asks them, "Will everyone be having coffee?" The first logician says "I don't know". The second logician says "I don't know". The third logician says "Yes".


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Soundbord on June 12, 2014, 01:17:06 PM
I know this isn't really an awesome joke, more of a silly pun, but my avatar says:

I'm so board, I really wish something fun wood come around
(LOOOL)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ahfaz12 on June 12, 2014, 08:59:34 PM
There were 4 brothers named anybody, everybody, nobody, and somebody. Everybody and Anybody went to shopping while a traveler came to their house. He asked, Is anybody here? Nobody replied "No. but Nobody is here" Traveler said, "Somebody must be here! Or else the voice can't come." The reply he got was: "Yes, Somebody is in the home along with Nobody".


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: LKOB on June 14, 2014, 04:53:24 AM
I have a good one.

What did Batman tell Robin before he got in the van?

"Get in the van."


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Medium's Curse on June 14, 2014, 08:05:44 AM
I have a good one.

What did Batman tell Robin before he got in the van?

"Get in the van."

Sorry to say this, but this joke is a lackluster.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: LKOB on June 14, 2014, 12:03:51 PM
Sorry to say this, but this joke is a lackluster.

Lol ik, it was supposed to be an anti-joke, since I couldn't think of anything better  >_<


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: cozyhighway on June 22, 2014, 06:13:33 PM
In the front of traffic lights, a driver stopped his car, why?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ahfaz12 on June 23, 2014, 01:24:42 AM
Because the lights were red.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: LKOB on June 23, 2014, 03:38:39 AM
Because the lights were red.

See Blocko, anti-joke.  8) Deal with it


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Medium's Curse on June 23, 2014, 07:14:15 AM
In the front of traffic lights, a driver stopped his car, why?
Because the lights were red.

I thought that was a double post, but no, your pictures are the same!  ???


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: LKOB on June 23, 2014, 12:04:27 PM
Me 2 ???


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on July 02, 2014, 04:51:14 PM
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I supect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent."


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: LKOB on July 02, 2014, 04:53:18 PM
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ahfaz12 on July 02, 2014, 08:40:29 PM
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL I HEARD IT BEFORE


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Paramore on July 02, 2014, 09:46:36 PM
LMFAO

Q: What US state is round on the outside and high in the middle?

Answer:
Ohio


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: cozyhighway on July 02, 2014, 11:49:44 PM
Because the lights were red.
nope


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Kowhai on July 03, 2014, 02:32:11 AM
The traffic lights were broken, and he was a repairman sent to repair them.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: LKOB on July 03, 2014, 04:46:08 AM
Once upon a time, 4 men went on a canoeing trip with 1 canoe. They tipped the boat and they all fell into the ocean, yet not a single man got wet. Why is this?

Because all the men were married and none of them were single.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Nickito on July 03, 2014, 04:50:31 PM
Plot Twist: Not a married man got wet either


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: LKOB on July 03, 2014, 06:26:39 PM
DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on July 05, 2014, 11:22:52 PM
Note: this actually happened.

Heisenberg went for a drive and got stopped by a traffic cop. The cop asked, "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replied, "No, but I know where I am."

In case you don't get this the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle states that you can't simultaneously know your speed and position.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Zorro Metal on July 06, 2014, 11:27:41 AM
These jokes aren't funny for me. BOOO!!!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: The Real Alien on July 06, 2014, 11:42:20 AM
These jokes aren't funny for me. BOOO!!!
*facelaptop*


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Vinnie on July 06, 2014, 12:31:13 PM
These jokes aren't funny for me. BOOO!!!
Make some funny ones then
----
"I'm going bananas," is what I say to my bananas before I leave.
----
Is that better, Blaze?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Papl on July 06, 2014, 12:47:48 PM
These jokes aren't funny for me. BOOO!!!
You're not funny.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Fliptropica on July 06, 2014, 12:53:57 PM
Here's a good riddle:
A detective was trying to solve a mystery about a kidnapper.One of the suspects was a guy named Dan.Dan claimed to be a school teacher.He told the detective that the day before the kidnapping,his class was taking a field trip to the zoo.At the field trip,a guy was blowing up balloons with his mouth,and the kids loved watching him.Each kid got a balloon.The kids then went back to the school,where their parents picked them up.The very next day,the day of the kidnapping,Dan looked out the window and saw one of the kids in his class trying to get his balloon out of the tree,and the kidnapper.Dan went outside to get the kid away from the kidnapper and into his house,where he'd be safe.The detective did not believe Dan's story and accused him of being the kidnapper.How did he know Dan was lying?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Nickito on July 06, 2014, 01:00:32 PM
Make some funny ones then
----
"I'm going bananas," is what I say to my bananas before I leave.
----
Is that better, Blaze?
no that's a terrible joke you told it wrong
*facepalm*
can we ban this guy for telling a bad joke i know it sounds stupid but that jokes is probably bad enough

@Fliptropica the balloon would have to be filled with helium for it to float, but it's filled with air


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ahfaz12 on July 07, 2014, 12:18:08 AM
Plus, the balloon would burst because of thebranches


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Rage Mallor on July 07, 2014, 12:49:54 AM
These jokes aren't funny for me. BOOO!!!
Can you please.. Flap off?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: LKOB on December 19, 2014, 06:46:09 PM
What do you call a giant bump?

A mountain.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Theo on December 19, 2014, 07:04:30 PM
Q. Two children are born on the same day from the same mother but they are not twins. How is that possible?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Vinnie on December 19, 2014, 07:05:30 PM
not the same year


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Theo on December 19, 2014, 07:06:05 PM
They are triplets


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: LKOB on December 19, 2014, 07:06:46 PM
Oh u didn't mention the third one

Clever


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Theo on December 19, 2014, 07:07:57 PM
There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: LKOB on December 19, 2014, 07:11:45 PM
Meat
Classic

You are surrounded by a 100 foot wide and 100 foot deep moat. You have a 40 foot tall ladder, matches, a gallon of water, and as much rope as you need.

How do you get across the moat?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on December 19, 2014, 07:13:51 PM
First of all, how DID you get to the moat?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: LKOB on December 19, 2014, 07:14:27 PM
You feel asleep and woke up there.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on December 19, 2014, 07:15:13 PM
Fall asleep again. :p i aint good at this.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: LKOB on December 19, 2014, 07:15:49 PM
by drinking the ladder
wat
Fall asleep again. :p i aint good at this.
guess


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on December 19, 2014, 07:16:38 PM
Use Sunny Day!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: LKOB on December 19, 2014, 07:18:14 PM
waaaat

Guys, don't think so hard on this one. Hint: it has to do with the rope


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on December 19, 2014, 07:19:06 PM
tightrope walk


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: LKOB on December 19, 2014, 07:24:27 PM
You have as much rope as you need

Fill the moat with rope and walk across


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on December 19, 2014, 07:25:54 PM
the rope will flood instead.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on December 19, 2014, 07:29:47 PM
cuz toot


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on December 19, 2014, 07:40:05 PM
cuz toot


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Papl on December 19, 2014, 07:54:13 PM
booty


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Theo on December 19, 2014, 08:02:01 PM
I give up.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Medium's Curse on December 19, 2014, 08:16:47 PM
I am just going to (Indian accent) schlap dat (normal accent) joke from Reddit for this time of the year. Enjoy.



A man walks in to a pet store and says to the clerk, "My girlfriend really loves animals. Do you have one that would make a great Christmas present?" The clerk say, "Sure, how about this bird? His name is Chet. Chet sings Christmas songs."
The man looks at Chet and says, "That sounds perfect. Show me." The clerk takes a lighter and puts it under the bird's left wing. The bird starts singing the greatest rendition of White Christmas that the man had ever heard. The clerk then takes the lighter and places it under the bird's right wing, and the bird starts singing a perfect version of Jingle Bells. At this point, the man is so impressed that he pays for the bird and hurries home.
As soon as he gets home, he thinks to himself, "I better check to make sure that old man didn't scam me." He puts the lighter to the bird's left wing, and just like in the store, the bird starts singing White Christmas. He puts the lighter under the bird's right wing, and sure enough, the bird starts singing Jingle Bells. So then he thinks, "What if I put the lighter between the bird's legs?" He slowly places the lighter between the bird's leg, and the birds starts screaming, "CHET'S NUTS ROASTING ON A OPEN FIRE!"


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on December 19, 2014, 08:18:17 PM
...?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Medium's Curse on December 19, 2014, 08:19:52 PM
...?

A man walks in to a pet store and says to the clerk, "My girlfriend really loves animals. Do you have one that would make a great Christmas present?" The clerk say, "Sure, how about this bird? His name is Chet. Chet sings Christmas songs."
The man looks at Chet and says, "That sounds perfect. Show me." The clerk takes a lighter and puts it under the bird's left wing. The bird starts singing the greatest rendition of White Christmas that the man had ever heard. The clerk then takes the lighter and places it under the bird's right wing, and the bird starts singing a perfect version of Jingle Bells. At this point, the man is so impressed that he pays for the bird and hurries home.
As soon as he gets home, he thinks to himself, "I better check to make sure that old man didn't scam me." He puts the lighter to the bird's left wing, and just like in the store, the bird starts singing White Christmas. He puts the lighter under the bird's right wing, and sure enough, the bird starts singing Jingle Bells. So then he thinks, "What if I put the lighter between the bird's legs?" He slowly places the lighter between the bird's leg, and the birds starts screaming, "CHET'S NUTS ROASTING ON A OPEN FIRE!"

Couldn't believe I had to spoil the joke  :asleep:


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on December 19, 2014, 08:20:31 PM
i odnt get it!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Medium's Curse on December 19, 2014, 08:23:50 PM
i odnt get it!

Read the bold!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on December 19, 2014, 08:24:06 PM
I did!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Theo on December 19, 2014, 08:26:45 PM
ROFLOL!!!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on December 19, 2014, 09:17:07 PM
(http://img0.joyreactor.com/pics/post/auto-9gag-1356184.jpeg)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: LKOB on December 20, 2014, 06:06:29 AM
I am just going to (Indian accent) schlap dat (normal accent) joke from Reddit for this time of the year. Enjoy.



A man walks in to a pet store and says to the clerk, "My girlfriend really loves animals. Do you have one that would make a great Christmas present?" The clerk say, "Sure, how about this bird? His name is Chet. Chet sings Christmas songs."
The man looks at Chet and says, "That sounds perfect. Show me." The clerk takes a lighter and puts it under the bird's left wing. The bird starts singing the greatest rendition of White Christmas that the man had ever heard. The clerk then takes the lighter and places it under the bird's right wing, and the bird starts singing a perfect version of Jingle Bells. At this point, the man is so impressed that he pays for the bird and hurries home.
As soon as he gets home, he thinks to himself, "I better check to make sure that old man didn't scam me." He puts the lighter to the bird's left wing, and just like in the store, the bird starts singing White Christmas. He puts the lighter under the bird's right wing, and sure enough, the bird starts singing Jingle Bells. So then he thinks, "What if I put the lighter between the bird's legs?" He slowly places the lighter between the bird's leg, and the birds starts screaming, "CHET'S NUTS ROASTING ON A OPEN FIRE!"
LOOOOOOOOL

sounds painful


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: LKOB on December 20, 2014, 06:07:15 AM
(http://img0.joyreactor.com/pics/post/auto-9gag-1356184.jpeg)
lol


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: LKOB on December 20, 2014, 06:10:59 AM
Soz for 3post



I'm reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can't put it down.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Theo on December 20, 2014, 06:17:32 AM
must be interesting.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Vinnie on December 20, 2014, 06:47:24 AM
i odnt get it!
The Christmas Song starts with, "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire"


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on December 20, 2014, 07:06:03 AM
oh..

I just didnt know thatnsong.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ahfaz12 on December 20, 2014, 07:08:00 AM
Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?
He wanted to go to the high school.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on December 20, 2014, 07:08:25 AM
meh


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on December 20, 2014, 06:54:55 PM
(http://www.mathfunny.com/images/diabetes-ridiculous-math-joke-watermelons.jpg)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on December 20, 2014, 06:56:06 PM
OH NO! LOTB HAS DIABETES!

Anyway, my mom has three orange in one hand a five apples in the other.

What does she have?

big hands.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: LKOB on December 20, 2014, 06:57:08 PM
D:

lol


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on December 20, 2014, 06:59:00 PM
Anyway I ate like too much sweets today


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on December 20, 2014, 07:04:50 PM
Unless you're getting a stomach ache than don't worry about it, just make sure you brush you teeth very well tonight.

(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/bd/b3/f7/bdb3f7b68c6248eadde004ca68a74a34.jpg)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: LKOB on December 20, 2014, 07:06:16 PM
Dear Math,

I am sick and tired of finding your X. She's gone. Deal with it.


From, Too Much Homework


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on December 20, 2014, 07:08:09 PM
I haven't got the "Find x" homework yet so I don't get it.

I hate math bcuz it's not my frickin problem. It's the fictional characert's problem.

And most likely I ain't gonna have the same problem XD I got too much problem and there's no more room for one more one more problem.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on December 20, 2014, 07:13:49 PM
I haven't got the "Find x" homework yet so I don't get it.
In algebra most problems you get will have you solve an equation for x.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: LKOB on December 20, 2014, 07:15:38 PM
-sees worksheet-

Question:  <A = 45°. Find x.

-circles X-

Found it.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on December 20, 2014, 07:21:51 PM
(https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTPWKkepSdwIwQY770ppRsg5vldIQUOJY3Fw1nYlskgaoINBtjbxw)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on December 20, 2014, 07:28:14 PM
-sees worksheet-

Question:  <A = 45°. Find x.

-circles X-

Found it.
is it complimwntary angles?

(https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTPWKkepSdwIwQY770ppRsg5vldIQUOJY3Fw1nYlskgaoINBtjbxw)
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

LEARNING ABOUT PARTICLE THEORY OF MATTER.

MADE A TOOT SONG (with a group):

EVERYTHING IS MADE OF MATTER
ME TOO
BUT NO WAIT ABSTRACT THOUGHTS AND IDEAS AREN'T
THAT'S RIGHT. THEY'RE NOT
ALL PARTICLES MAKE UP MATTER
SUBSTANCE'S PARTICLES ARE IDENTICAL
PARTICLES OF MATTER ARE ALWAYS MOVING
THE TEMPERATURE OF PARTICLES AFFECT THE SPEED
WHEN IT'S COLD, PARTICLES MOVE SLOW
WHEN IT'S HOT, PARTICLES MOVE FAST
PARTICLES ARE ATTRACTED BY A FORCE
SPACES ARE BETWEEN PARTICLES
AND THOSE ARE THE PARTICLE THEORIES OF MATTER

*jazz hands*

btw, it doesnt have any tune, just say it in a beat.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on December 20, 2014, 07:47:32 PM
is it complimwntary angles?
Their isn't enough information to tell. It could be anything relating to geometry, trigonometry, or any other area of math.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on December 20, 2014, 07:48:44 PM
anyway i hate bisecting angles with a toot compass.

especially perpendicular, because it's obvious, use a protractor!!

-What if u no have one

-then buy one


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on December 20, 2014, 08:05:01 PM
Q: Why did Frogger cross the road?
A: Because you've been playing the game for hours and you've finally beat this level.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on December 20, 2014, 08:05:46 PM
frogger?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on December 20, 2014, 08:09:25 PM
It's a classic arcade game. You can play it here.
http://www.frogger.net/


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: LKOB on December 21, 2014, 05:45:44 PM
Girl: You remind me of Santa

Boy: Awe is it because i bring joy and happiness

Girl: No. It's becuz u only work 1 day a year and on the next 364 u judge people


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: LKOB on December 21, 2014, 05:46:32 PM
LOOK LOOOOL IT'S ON THE 365TH POST XD


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Theo on December 21, 2014, 06:26:41 PM
How ironic, and the post above happens to be leap year.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Lavender on December 21, 2014, 06:30:48 PM
Girl: You remind me of Santa

Boy: Awe is it because i bring joy and happiness

Girl: No. It's becuz u only work 1 day a year and on the next 364 u judge people
lololololol XD


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on December 21, 2014, 06:39:23 PM
i get it but not funny


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Theo on December 21, 2014, 06:40:40 PM
I'm pretty sure that rather making it funny, it is an obvious reflect on regular human being's behavior.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on December 21, 2014, 08:32:45 PM
ok?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Theo on December 22, 2014, 01:47:20 PM
ok.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: LKOB on December 23, 2014, 04:48:15 AM
How come we are in the womb for 9 months but we aren't 9 months old when born?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Hajime on December 24, 2014, 03:31:27 AM
i get it but not funny


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: PeppermintLeaf on December 24, 2014, 01:11:41 PM
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ahfaz12 on December 27, 2014, 07:43:18 AM
(https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-6rq4UnA4sgM/VJlHHGSDKpI/AAAAAAAAiNM/vxab2MkhbWs/w506-h373/10bddd13-4897-4a96-a410-f49316569c3a.jpg)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Nickito on December 27, 2014, 07:45:05 AM
So?
What has 4 letters
yet has 3 letters
although has 8 letters
then has 4 letters
rarely has 6 letters
never has 5 letters


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ahfaz12 on December 27, 2014, 07:46:17 AM
That is the point for this "riddle".


In other words, it is supposed to be a joke.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Papl on December 27, 2014, 07:48:53 AM
XD I get it!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Medium's Curse on December 27, 2014, 05:15:40 PM
A couple is walking down Unter der Linden in East Berlin. Something started to fall from the sky.

Woman: It is snowing!
Man: No it is raining!

To avoid the argument, the man asks a police officer named Olf about the precipitation.

Olf: ZIT IST RAINING, DUMMKOPF!

As they walk away, the man says this:

"See? Rude Olf the Red knows rain, dear."


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Theo on December 27, 2014, 05:40:02 PM
(https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-6rq4UnA4sgM/VJlHHGSDKpI/AAAAAAAAiNM/vxab2MkhbWs/w506-h373/10bddd13-4897-4a96-a410-f49316569c3a.jpg)
I get it, but not really ROFL.
A couple is walking down Unter der Linden in East Berlin. Something started to fall from the sky.

Woman: It is snowing!
Man: No it is raining!

To avoid the argument, the man asks a police officer named Olf about the precipitation.

Olf: ZIT IST RAINING, DUMMKOPF!

As they walk away, the man says this:

"See? Rude Olf the Red knows rain, dear."
LOLO


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Medium's Curse on December 29, 2014, 07:01:24 PM
Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 70% water. I can walk on babies. I'm...
in prison.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on February 24, 2015, 05:55:02 PM
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Medium's Curse on February 24, 2015, 08:59:51 PM
Three Scots and three Irishmen are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Irishmen each buy tickets and watch as the three Scots buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an Irishman. "Watch and you'll see," answers a Scot.

They all board the train. The Irishmen take their respective seats but all three Scots cram into a bathroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the bathroom door and says,"Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The Irishmen see this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Irishmen decide to copy the Scots on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money,and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Scots don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed Irishman. Watch and you'll see," answers a Scot.

When they board the train the three Irishmen cram into a bathroom and the three Scots cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterwards, one of the Scots leaves his bathroom and walks over to the bathroom where the Irishmen are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ixora on February 26, 2015, 10:26:55 AM
One day, a couple was fighting.
Husband: My son likes me more than you got it?
Wife: Oh really? I tolerated so much of pain for 9 months for him and he likes me only!
Thus the fight went on and the decided to test whom their son likes. They planned to throw a pebble at their son's head. If he says "OH MOM!" then he likes his mother and if he says "OH DAD!" then he likes his father.
They hid in the bushes and threw a stone at their son's head when he went to the garden. He screamed out "Who the eff did that?!"


Title: Jokes
Post by: PizzaGod! on April 22, 2016, 04:30:57 PM
Post Jokes.


Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: PizzaGod! on April 22, 2016, 04:41:55 PM
I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

Got To admit That Was Funny!!


Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: PizzaGod! on April 22, 2016, 04:42:51 PM
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

That Too

By the Way I'm Not Making These Up, They Are Off The Internet.


Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: PizzaGod! on April 22, 2016, 04:43:52 PM
    I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.

Ok this is a bad one!


Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: PizzaGod! on April 23, 2016, 10:28:44 AM
No one Is going  to post on here right? Someone answer me!!!!!!!


Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: ChefNova on April 23, 2016, 10:31:11 AM
I got a joke...

JOHN CENA AAHHAHA THAT IS SOOOOO FUNNY!!!11111! *sarcasm*


Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Summer4ever on April 23, 2016, 11:49:46 AM
Why did the chicken cross the road?

TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE


Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Balloon Girl on April 23, 2016, 11:57:08 AM
I know yo momma jokes are so old, but I couldn't help it :p

Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.

Yo mama so fat that she gave Dracula diabetes.

Yo mama so fat when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease, the doctors gave her 10 years to live.


Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: PizzaGod! on April 25, 2016, 09:35:23 AM
Why did the chicken cross the road?

TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

AMAZING JOKE

10/10 IGN


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: cozyhighway on June 23, 2016, 08:47:00 PM
Q Which side would win if Norway decided to have a referendum to leave EU?
A Noexit

(Sadly Norway isn't part of EU)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ixora on June 30, 2016, 10:43:01 AM
A bit inappropriate but blah
Boys are like your bra.
You start getting them (pun intended) from the day you mature.
Although they make you feel uncomfortable, you've already been brainwashed by society into thinking that you can't live without them.
By now you really can't live without their support, and you feel insecure going out without one.
All of these factors eventually lead to a love-hate feeling for them.

Lol sorry for this bad joke but I really felt like sharing this cuz this makes so much sense!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on July 03, 2016, 03:48:32 AM
hey can puns be considered as joke?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ixora on July 03, 2016, 04:00:32 AM
hey can puns be considered as joke?
Do we have a separate topic for puns?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Abu on July 03, 2016, 04:27:09 AM
No


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on July 03, 2016, 07:00:49 AM
okay.





Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: PizzaGod! on July 05, 2016, 09:32:44 AM
What did the 4 year old cringe minecraft youtuber say to the other cringe minecraft youtuber?

your cringe like bro fisting


10/10 bro fist roast


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on July 08, 2016, 05:10:01 AM
What did the 4 year old cringe minecraft youtuber say to the other cringe minecraft youtuber?

your cringe like bro fisting


10/10 bro fist roast
?????


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on July 22, 2016, 07:13:29 PM
In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Summer4ever on July 22, 2016, 09:34:35 PM
In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.

when Joe shows humor


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: RagemZuru on July 27, 2016, 04:26:19 AM
In America, anyone can be pressed.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on July 27, 2016, 04:42:49 AM
In America, people eat food :p


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ComicSans on July 27, 2016, 07:25:26 PM
Roses are red
Violets are violet
I am black
Watermelon


Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Park Jinyoung on August 18, 2016, 05:12:58 AM
/!/ Religious Joke Alert /!/

Why should you take a bath on Sundays?

Because it's the Sabbath


Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Faiz on August 18, 2016, 07:58:20 AM
Why are Saudi Arabians so ignorant? Because they are living under Iraq.


Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: RagemZuru on August 18, 2016, 08:01:03 AM
These are facts and not jokes. ::)
Speaking of, I don't have any. Why am I even here?

*Crosses the road*
*Gets to the other side*


Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: VampireGirl12 on August 18, 2016, 08:02:08 AM
These are facts and not jokes. ::)
Speaking of, I don't have any. Why am I even here?

*Crosses the road*
*Gets to the other side*
I'm laughing at that it's a joke imo


Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Lollipop on August 18, 2016, 08:41:55 AM
 ;)


Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Ryuji on August 18, 2016, 08:45:19 AM
why did snoop dogg need an umbrella?

FODRIZZLE!


Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: MariaYuki on August 18, 2016, 08:49:35 AM
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.


Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Lollipop on August 18, 2016, 08:51:29 AM
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
XD


Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: MariaYuki on August 18, 2016, 08:53:00 AM
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.


Title: Re: Jokes
Post by: Ryuji on August 18, 2016, 08:54:53 AM
twenty one pilots can't fit on the plane!
but there's only two of them ::)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on August 18, 2016, 03:34:44 PM
It was a dark dog, totally dark, sleeping on he road, a totally black car came in the way, without lights open on the car, and without those road lights that Idk it name

However, the car dodged the dog, how?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Miyazumi Kuro on August 18, 2016, 04:55:59 PM
ur lights are off. u have a candle, an oil lamp, and a match. wich one will u light first
ill tell u the answer later  :P :P :P ^-^ ^-^


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ComicSans on August 18, 2016, 05:32:28 PM
I didn't need to look at the spoiler to know it's the match first. That's the oldest riddle in the book.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on August 18, 2016, 05:37:52 PM
It was a dark dog, totally dark, sleeping on he road, a totally black car came in the way, without lights open on the car, and without those road lights that Idk it name

However, the car dodged the dog, how?
It didn't happen at night.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: VampireGirl12 on August 18, 2016, 05:51:18 PM
It was a dark dog, totally dark, sleeping on he road, a totally black car came in the way, without lights open on the car, and without those road lights that Idk it name

However, the car dodged the dog, how?
This one's old too


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Miyazumi Kuro on August 18, 2016, 06:52:31 PM
here is a joke=i saw a poster today, somebody was asking "have u seen my cat?" so i called the number and said i didn't. i like to help were i can.   :3


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: RagemZuru on August 18, 2016, 07:06:08 PM
The poster says: "Have you seen my cat?" so I dialed the number said:
"I've seen it. That movie sucks."


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: VampireGirl12 on August 18, 2016, 07:06:38 PM
The poster says: "Have you seen my cat?" so I dialed the number said:
"I've seen it. That movie sucks."
FAV XD XD XD


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Miyazumi Kuro on August 18, 2016, 07:12:51 PM
"so what r u doing today?"

"nothing"

"what the heck?! u were dong nothing the whole day yesterday!"

"yes, and im not finish yet"


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Theo on August 18, 2016, 07:15:05 PM
Did you hear about the kitchen race?

Yeah, the lettuce is a-head, the water's still running, and the tomato is trying hard to ketchup!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Park Jinyoung on August 18, 2016, 07:17:45 PM
Have you heard the movie "Constipated?"

Of course you haven't! It hasn't come out yet!

~~

Have you heard of the movie "Diarrhea?"

It's all over!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Park Jinyoung on August 19, 2016, 10:27:13 PM
It's a busy day in the market, but there are only two cashiers that are beside one another. Cashier A takes 1 minute to facilitate a customer, while Cashier B takes 1 minute and a half to facilitate a customer. There were 100 shoppers, waiting to purchase some goods. Assuming that all of them are in a hurry, and that they finished at the same time, how can you facilitate a faster service?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Miyazumi Kuro on August 19, 2016, 10:38:39 PM
what is the best place to hide a body? = page 2 of google   


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on August 19, 2016, 10:53:24 PM
It's a busy day in the market, but there are only two cashiers that are beside one another. Cashier A takes 1 minute to facilitate a customer, while Cashier B takes 1 minute and a half to facilitate a customer. There were 100 shoppers, waiting to purchase some goods. Assuming that all of them are in a hurry, and that they finished at the same time, how can you facilitate a faster service?
The fastest time 5 customers can be facilitated is 3 minutes, which is accomplished when cashier A facilitates 3 customers and cashier B facilitates 2 customers. Thus the fastest time 100 customers can be facilitated is 60 minutes, where cashier A facilitates 60 customers and cashier B facilitates 40 customers.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Park Jinyoung on August 19, 2016, 11:09:58 PM
The fastest time 5 customers can be facilitated is 3 minutes, which is accomplished when cashier A facilitates 3 customers and cashier B facilitates 2 customers. Thus the fastest time 100 customers can be facilitated is 60 minutes, where cashier A facilitates 60 customers and cashier B facilitates 40 customers.
Now this is the answer.

Basically, a "Y" method, because one cashier will always be facilitating a customer. Some people go for the easy answer of saying 50 each (75 minutes) or something like that. The worst one is finding a hole instead of solving (Ex. get more cashiers)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on August 20, 2016, 02:06:56 AM
what is the best place to hide a body? = page 2 of google   
Haha


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Chef Ben on August 20, 2016, 03:08:19 AM
A fire has set on 3 buildings. Afterwards, the ambulance came. In which building will the ambulance exhaust the fire first?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Kowhai on August 20, 2016, 03:12:38 AM
A fire has set on 3 buildings. Afterwards, the ambulance came. In which building will the ambulance exhaust the fire first?
Exhaust? You mean extinguish?
Also, the ambulance wouldn't extinguish anything, it would take one of the victims to the hospital.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Chef Ben on August 20, 2016, 03:14:10 AM
Exhaust? You mean extinguish?
Also, the ambulance wouldn't extinguish anything, it would take one of the victims to the hospital.
Yeah, yeah, extinguish!
Correct! The ambulance wouldn't and can't extinguish anything!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Miyazumi Kuro on August 20, 2016, 06:12:22 AM
there r 50 crows on a wire, a hunter shoots and kills 3. how many r there left on the wire?
.........


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ryuji on August 20, 2016, 09:25:51 AM
0 the rest flew away


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on August 20, 2016, 02:43:32 PM
there r 50 crows on a wire, a hunter shoots and kills 3. how many r there left on the wire?
.........
This one's old too, like mine


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: The Real Alien on August 20, 2016, 04:55:45 PM
0 the rest flew away
wow cows fly


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ComicSans on August 20, 2016, 04:58:12 PM
wow cows fly
>crows


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: The Real Alien on August 20, 2016, 05:00:04 PM
>crows
:'(


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Miyazumi Kuro on August 21, 2016, 03:22:34 AM
This one's old too, like mine
ah.. google is lying to me.....


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Miyazumi Kuro on August 21, 2016, 03:23:27 AM
wow cows fly
i dont know y but this made me laugh. XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Park Jinyoung on August 22, 2016, 03:47:49 AM
How can you tell the emotions of a fish?

By its FISH-al Expressions.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on August 22, 2016, 03:51:03 AM
Hmm, ill do some nicknames jokes.. but Idk any name to use right now

Like.. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

No idea


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Miyazumi Kuro on August 23, 2016, 04:36:11 AM
Hmm, ill do some nicknames jokes.. but Idk any name to use right now

Like.. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

No idea
excuse me,,, i dont get it......


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on August 23, 2016, 06:09:09 AM
excuse me,,, i dont get it......
I didn't Saïd à joke yet..


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Abu on August 23, 2016, 06:45:34 AM
EVERBODY WHAT DID THE CLOUD SAY TO THE SUN

"you're hot babe"


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Miyazumi Kuro on August 24, 2016, 06:34:46 AM
EVERBODY WHAT DID THE CLOUD SAY TO THE SUN

"you're hot babe"
theres the word babe...


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: VampireGirl12 on August 24, 2016, 06:35:46 AM
EVERBODY WHAT DID THE CLOUD SAY TO THE SUN

"you're hot babe"
L o l ?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on August 24, 2016, 09:03:53 AM
I got this from the impossible quiz..

sdrawkcab noirseuq siht rewsna

1. K.O
2. What
3. I don't understand
4. Tennis Elbow


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Miyazumi Kuro on August 25, 2016, 03:24:19 AM
EVERBODY WHAT DID THE CLOUD SAY TO THE SUN

"you're hot babe"
and the sun says "ur gloomy and gray"


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: WatermelonSlice on August 25, 2016, 03:29:48 AM
I got this from the impossible quiz..

sdrawkcab noirseuq siht rewsna

1. K.O
2. What
3. I don't understand
4. Tennis Elbow
K.O
heh
i remembered some answers


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on August 25, 2016, 05:25:10 AM
K.O
heh
i remembered some answers
Yes ikr


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Miyazumi Kuro on August 25, 2016, 04:14:53 PM
u have a glass of ***** what do u do? (its a trick )
hint : read it carefully.....


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on August 25, 2016, 04:30:35 PM
You have a glass of stars is it? :P

I don't even know what you want us to do from that sentence..


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: WatermelonSlice on August 25, 2016, 04:53:13 PM
u have a glass of ***** what do u do? (its a trick )
hint : read it carefully.....
drink it duhhh


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: rainbowcherry on August 25, 2016, 04:56:52 PM
What do you call strawberries when they are depressed?

BLUEBERRIES!!! Lolololololololololo *Stabbed*

That was stupid and corny.  :P


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: WatermelonSlice on August 25, 2016, 04:57:46 PM
well that was corny


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on August 25, 2016, 05:58:17 PM
What do you call strawberries when they are depressed?

BLUEBERRIES!!! Lolololololololololo *Stabbed*

That was stupid and corny.  :P
I liked it actually

Time for another impossible question
The Answer is really big
1. ANSWER
2. Really Big
3. Infinity
4. an elephant


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: WatermelonSlice on August 25, 2016, 05:59:44 PM
I liked it actually

Time for another impossible question
The Answer is really big
1. ANSWER
2. Really Big
3. Infinity
4. an elephant
you just made me play impossible quiz


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on August 25, 2016, 06:02:57 PM
you just made me play impossible quiz
Haha

Thzn din't answer I guess :P because u know it


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Theo on August 25, 2016, 06:04:17 PM
I'll give you a cheesy joke.

Ready?
...




Dairy products.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on August 25, 2016, 06:05:26 PM
I'll give you a cheesy joke.

Ready?
...




Dairy products.
Wat

Anyways do u know the answer for that other question?



Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Miyazumi Kuro on August 25, 2016, 07:03:28 PM
You have a glass of stars is it? :P

I don't even know what you want us to do from that sentence..
wrong!  :P :P :P


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Miyazumi Kuro on August 25, 2016, 07:05:22 PM
https://youtu.be/apmDI1iZUm4 brane games lol


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Luna~ on August 25, 2016, 07:56:46 PM
I'll give you a cheesy joke.

Ready?
...




Dairy products.

ppfffffftttt


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Chiral of Doom on August 25, 2016, 11:15:07 PM
-.-


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on August 26, 2016, 05:22:51 AM
I liked it actually

Time for another impossible question
The Answer is really big
1. ANSWER
2. Really Big
3. Infinity
4. an elephant
Nobody asnwered


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: WatermelonSlice on August 26, 2016, 05:23:29 AM
I liked it actually

Time for another impossible question
The Answer is really big
1. ANSWER
2. Really Big
3. Infinity
4. an elephant
an elephant
I JUST PLAYED A WHILE AGO


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on August 26, 2016, 06:52:58 AM
an elephant
I JUST PLAYED A WHILE AGO
Yes lol

I made u play it right?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: WatermelonSlice on August 26, 2016, 07:22:10 AM
Yes lol

I made u play it right?
yes
yes you did


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on August 26, 2016, 07:25:56 AM
Lol

I have a question

What's a polo?

Question 1 : how many holes in a polo : 4

Question 100 : how many holes in two polos?  : 2


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Park Jinyoung on August 29, 2016, 07:10:42 AM
This is how you perfect Math class...

If you are asked to find x, encircle x and put "It's write there."


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on August 29, 2016, 08:04:00 AM
This is how you perfect Math class...

If you are asked to find x, encircle x and put "It's write there."
you mean right there?

anyways I found a whole video about things like that XD


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: MariaYuki on August 30, 2016, 01:13:56 PM
First Law of Physics in Cartoons:
Gravity does not start to work until you look down.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ComicSans on August 30, 2016, 01:28:14 PM
Second Law:
Hammerspace, a fan-envisioned, interdimensional, easily accessible storage area, explains how cartoon characters can pull stuff from mid-air.

(https://media.giphy.com/media/HDNGoUgR6XzDq/giphy.gif)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Abu on August 30, 2016, 02:05:42 PM
In Pokémon, all of this stuff is in the Guy's backpack. A normal sized backpack.

(http://cdn.bulbagarden.net/upload/6/61/Cilan_cookware.png)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on August 30, 2016, 02:56:57 PM
Second Law:
Hammerspace, a fan-envisioned, interdimensional, easily accessible storage area, explains how cartoon characters can pull stuff from mid-air.

(https://media.giphy.com/media/HDNGoUgR6XzDq/giphy.gif)
omg its kill la kill i dont wathc that anime but i recognize the art style


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ComicSans on August 30, 2016, 02:59:12 PM
omg its kill la kill i dont wathc that anime but i recognize the art style
i dont know what that is
all i know is that its a hammerspace gif


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on August 30, 2016, 03:39:13 PM
lolmao


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: WatermelonSlice on August 30, 2016, 08:58:52 PM
In Pokémon, all of this stuff is in the Guy's backpack. A normal sized backpack.

(http://cdn.bulbagarden.net/upload/6/61/Cilan_cookware.png)
pokemon logic


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Park Jinyoung on August 31, 2016, 05:17:18 AM
Filipinos will understand...


Where do itchy people live?...Makati

What fruit do Japanese people love the most?...Manga


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Miyazumi Kuro on August 31, 2016, 06:27:22 AM
Filipinos will understand...


Where do itchy people live?...Makati

What fruit do Japanese people love the most?...Manga
i understand the second one . ;)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: WatermelonSlice on August 31, 2016, 07:33:09 AM
Filipinos will understand...


Where do itchy people live?...Makati

What fruit do Japanese people love the most?...Manga
I can understand ::)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on September 07, 2016, 07:21:57 PM
Trick questions

What's the farthest from us?

A. Sun

B. Moon

C. Cloud

And why


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ComicSans on September 07, 2016, 07:22:40 PM
Trick questions

What's the farthest from us?

A. Sun

B. Moon

C. Cloud

And why
Sun


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on September 07, 2016, 07:24:16 PM
Wrong

Haha

Trick question

U probably will guess it now


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Miyazumi Kuro on September 07, 2016, 07:26:11 PM
Trick questions

What's the farthest from us?

A. Sun

B. Moon

C. Cloud

And why
where is D ?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on September 07, 2016, 07:26:38 PM
where is D ?
No D


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on September 07, 2016, 07:47:57 PM
Trick questions

What's the farthest from us?

A. Sun

B. Moon

C. Cloud

And why
C. Cloud, it's a trick question so it can't be Sun, and you already said Sun is incorrect, it also can't be Moon, since Moon is capitalized implying you mean Earth's Moon. It must then be Cloud, in particular a cloud on a far away exoplanet. Unless you mean in the Solar System in which case the cloud would be the Oort Cloud.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on September 07, 2016, 08:01:09 PM
Joe you are overthinking it.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Park Jinyoung on September 07, 2016, 10:43:10 PM
Actually, if you think about it, the Moon and the Sun are proper nouns here. Meaning to say, he's talking about Earth's Moon and our star, the Sun. Cloud is a common noun. There could be so many clouds in our universe.

~~

What food wants you to go faster?

PASTA


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on September 08, 2016, 06:08:21 AM
C. Cloud, it's a trick question so it can't be Sun, and you already said Sun is incorrect, it also can't be Moon, since Moon is capitalized implying you mean Earth's Moon. It must then be Cloud, in particular a cloud on a far away exoplanet. Unless you mean in the Solar System in which case the cloud would be the Oort Cloud.
It's cloud, but
Joe you are overthinking it.
It's simple, ill tell you

Wich is farthest from US, not the people, from the word Us

Sun is close

Moon is also

Cloud the farthest from the word Us lol


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ComicSans on September 08, 2016, 03:40:17 PM
There are three daughters: Daisy, Rose, and Cinderblock.

Daisy asked her parents, "Why did you call me Daisy?"

Her parents said, "Because when you were born, a daisy landed on your head!"

Rose asked her parents, "Why did you name me Rose?"

Her parents replied, "Because when you were born, a rose landed on your head!"

Cinderblock asked, "Whaaaa babananaba eeeeeeeh?"


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ryuji on September 08, 2016, 03:44:54 PM
XDDDDDDDDDDDD


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on September 08, 2016, 03:58:00 PM
Another trick question.. let see

Put this elephant in the fridge

*Little fridge ------- Giant elephant*


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: VampireGirl12 on September 08, 2016, 04:24:43 PM
my life (:


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Chef Ben on September 08, 2016, 04:25:33 PM
my life (:
The funniest joke ever XD


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ComicSans on September 08, 2016, 04:43:15 PM
my life (:
HAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
A classic


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: WatermelonSlice on September 08, 2016, 11:58:33 PM
my life (:
XD XD


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ryuji on September 09, 2016, 03:56:45 AM
my life (:
^same


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on September 11, 2016, 02:49:04 AM
i wish i had jokes up my sleeves


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Poppy Gloria on November 25, 2016, 05:13:48 PM
Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."

Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"

Doctor: "Nine."



Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on November 25, 2016, 05:15:33 PM
Ah, 10 seconds..


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Kowhai on November 25, 2016, 06:26:28 PM
Ah, 10 seconds..
No, he was actually saying Nein, the German word for No.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: papa_fan on November 25, 2016, 09:34:15 PM
10 years


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: -PRoyale- on November 26, 2016, 07:36:23 AM
Freezing jokes boooooo! Tell something funny


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on December 15, 2016, 12:15:23 PM
À cat is this
A cat is Is
A cat is How
A cat isWe
A cat is Make
A cat is An
A cat is Idiot
A cat is Wait
A cat is For
A cat is Some
A cat is Minutes

After reading that look here
read that? Ok, now read the 4th word of each sentence


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Poppy Gloria on December 15, 2016, 12:34:00 PM
 XD


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ComicSans on December 15, 2016, 02:50:37 PM
Too late
Already read each of the last words
Jokes on you m8 :J


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: MarkiplierFana! on December 15, 2016, 06:20:13 PM
my life (:
That's not funny. :|


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on December 15, 2016, 08:10:17 PM
Why doesn't God make any mistakes?
Because he doesn't exist.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Poppy Gloria on December 15, 2016, 10:26:55 PM
Why doesn't God make any mistakes?
Because he doesn't exist.
That's not funny...


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: WatermelonSlice on December 16, 2016, 01:59:28 AM
Why doesn't God make any mistakes?
Because he doesn't exist.
:(


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on December 16, 2016, 02:28:41 AM
Ugh Joe -_-


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: The Real Alien on December 16, 2016, 02:59:04 AM
Why doesn't God make any mistakes?
Because he doesn't exist.
XD


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ComicSans on December 16, 2016, 04:12:58 AM
Why doesn't God make any mistakes?
Because he doesn't exist.
Ha. Good one. Ha ha ha.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ryuji on December 16, 2016, 07:49:42 AM
Why doesn't God make any mistakes?
Because he doesn't exist.
yay someone agrees :)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Chiral of Doom on December 16, 2016, 07:54:45 AM
But Allah Yahweh and Jesus loves you!!!
~ WHAP student


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Faiz on December 16, 2016, 09:55:51 AM
But Allah Yahweh and Jesus loves you!!!
~ WHAP student
And a forcedIslamic Studies student.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Poppy Gloria on December 16, 2016, 02:02:17 PM
And a forcedIslamic Studies student.
XD


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Chiral of Doom on December 16, 2016, 02:32:22 PM
i am a forced WHAP student :/


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Poppy Gloria on December 16, 2016, 02:52:23 PM
My boss told me to have a good day...
so i went home.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on December 16, 2016, 03:22:22 PM
Oh my XD


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ComicSans on December 16, 2016, 04:40:14 PM
My doctor said I had 2 months to live.
So I killed a man.
The judge gave me 5 years.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Poppy Gloria on December 16, 2016, 04:49:03 PM
My doctor said I had 2 months to live.
So I killed a man.
The judge gave me 5 years.
XD


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on December 16, 2016, 06:54:44 PM
And a forcedIslamic Studies student.
In the US, it is illegal for public schools to indoctrinate students into a certain religion, she isn't learning anything beyond the basics of Islamic beliefs, and it's history, otherwise it would be illegal.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on December 17, 2016, 03:32:09 AM
Person 1: *catches a fish from water*
Person 2: why did you get that fish out of water, ir's gonna die!
1: I just wanted tl save it from drowning!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Faiz on December 17, 2016, 04:54:22 AM
In the US, it is illegal for public schools to indoctrinate students into a certain religion, she isn't learning anything beyond the basics of Islamic beliefs, and it's history, otherwise it would be illegal.
Nah, I am talking about myself. It is COMPULSORY to take Islamic Studies up to I think grade 12, if you are a non-Muslim it is COMPULSORY to take Ethics.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: VampireGirl12 on December 17, 2016, 06:31:46 AM
My doctor said I had 2 months to live.
So I killed a man.
The judge gave me 5 years.
You would probably do this


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Poppy Gloria on December 17, 2016, 11:25:07 AM
Person 1: *catches a fish from water*
Person 2: why did you get that fish out of water, ir's gonna die!
1: I just wanted tl save it from drowning!
lol


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ryuji on December 17, 2016, 07:44:43 PM
And a forcedIslamic Studies student.
me except switch Islamic to Catholic


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Nukes on December 18, 2016, 12:35:45 PM
Can yall solve this? If you know it or looked it up dont say anything.

 there are four people who need to get to the other side of the bridge, each with their own time needed to get across said bridge. Even worse, the bridge can only support two of them for each trip (and the person with the longer time is counted when traveling in the pair). Oh and it’s like dark and there is only one flashlight so a person who has crossed the bridge has to come back for a return trip in order to lead another person across once again. See, riddles are ‘fun’.

Person A can get across in 1 minute, Person B does it in 2 minutes, Person C crosses in 5 and slowpoke sloth human needs 10 minutes. You need to get everybody to the other side in under 17 minutes.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on December 18, 2016, 12:44:33 PM
*after some lot of false tries*
Person A and B goes (total 2 minutes) B goes back (total 4) C and D (or slowpoke sloth) go (total 14) and A goes back (15) A and B goes (total 17) all of them crossed the bridge


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on December 18, 2016, 01:47:06 PM
Nah, I am talking about myself. It is COMPULSORY to take Islamic Studies up to I think grade 12, if you are a non-Muslim it is COMPULSORY to take Ethics.
In that case Islamic Studies seems like the best of the two classes. Indoctrination likely happens in both, well I guess the same is true for any classes that emphasize memorization over understanding and critical thinking, but at least in Islamic Studies you would learn some of the interesting cultural aspects relating to Islam.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Nukes on December 18, 2016, 06:00:47 PM
*after some lot of false tries*
Person A and B goes (total 2 minutes) B goes back (total 4) C and D (or slowpoke sloth) go (total 14) and A goes back (15) A and B goes (total 17) all of them crossed the bridge
Good job. I couldn't get that on my own


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ElectricAngel on December 18, 2016, 06:27:35 PM
Can yall solve this? If you know it or looked it up dont say anything.

 there are four people who need to get to the other side of the bridge, each with their own time needed to get across said bridge. Even worse, the bridge can only support two of them for each trip (and the person with the longer time is counted when traveling in the pair). Oh and it’s like dark and there is only one flashlight so a person who has crossed the bridge has to come back for a return trip in order to lead another person across once again. See, riddles are ‘fun’.

Person A can get across in 1 minute, Person B does it in 2 minutes, Person C crosses in 5 and slowpoke sloth human needs 10 minutes. You need to get everybody to the other side in under 17 minutes.

I've seen this riddle so many times, yet I keep forgetting the answer.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Faiz on December 19, 2016, 05:13:33 AM
Ronaldo, Trump, the Pope and a schoolboy are in a plane, and the engines of the plane fail. There are only 3 parachutes.
Ronaldo says, 'I am the greatest footballer, I cannot die!' and takes a parachute.
Trump says, 'I am the President-elect of the USA and their smartest president ever! I certainly cannot die!' and takes a parachute and jump.
The Pope says to the schoolboy, 'I am old and I do not have must life left. You should take the last parachute and jump.'
The boy says, 'Don't worry, Pope, we both will go! America's smartest president took my schoolbag!'


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Chiral of Doom on December 19, 2016, 05:16:42 AM
I don't get it
That's not funny :'(


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on December 19, 2016, 05:29:44 AM
I don't get it
That's not funny :'(
He means hat Trump took he boy's school bag, not the parachute


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Poppy Gloria on December 21, 2016, 03:30:36 PM
I know this is not funny okay?

Why was the boy born on April fools day? cause his life is just a BIG 'O JOKE!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ElectricAngel on December 21, 2016, 09:33:58 PM
I know this is not funny okay?

Why was the boy born on April fools day? cause his life is just a BIG 'O JOKE!

Lol I like it.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Oofis on December 21, 2016, 11:08:32 PM
Quick riddle for someone to try:

On the 1st of January, a farmer put a rabbit in a rabbit pen.
When a rabbit turns 2 months old, they give birth to another rabbit, and then they give birth every month after that.
If none of the rabbits escape or die, how many rabbits will there be by Christmas?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Poppy Gloria on December 21, 2016, 11:14:15 PM
9 or 10 rabbits?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Oofis on December 22, 2016, 12:57:54 AM
9 or 10 rabbits?
No No No.

Clue 1 - every rabbit follows the birth rule, not just the first rabbit.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Samantha on December 22, 2016, 02:21:42 PM
Quick riddle for someone to try:

On the 1st of January, a farmer put a rabbit in a rabbit pen.
When a rabbit turns 2 months old, they give birth to another rabbit, and then they give birth every month after that.
If none of the rabbits escape or die, how many rabbits will there be by Christmas?
6


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on December 22, 2016, 02:33:20 PM
This will be a chain of questions, the first who ask to do it will do it, no one else will do it, (unless I do it by PM lol)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on December 22, 2016, 03:26:36 PM
Oh ill do it n'y PM for anyone who want, and I have another joke
Oh I Lost it..


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Gato on December 22, 2016, 07:30:56 PM
This will be a chain of questions, the first who ask to do it will do it, no one else will do it, (unless I do it by PM lol)
i want to lol


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Oofis on December 23, 2016, 06:58:21 PM
6
No No No.

Clue 1 - every rabbit follows the birth rule, not just the first rabbit.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: MariaYuki on December 24, 2016, 12:03:59 AM

1. You can't have rabbit babies without another person of the other gender.
There is only 1 rabbit at the beginning, and the end.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on December 24, 2016, 10:31:49 AM
Also, are these rabbits immortal and don't die by.. 3 months or 6? XD


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: MariaYuki on December 24, 2016, 01:56:56 PM
Also, are these rabbits immortal and don't die by.. 3 months or 6? XD
If they don't die...


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on December 24, 2016, 02:05:46 PM
Ah okay
another question
does christmas count?
and WHEN is christmas?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Oofis on December 24, 2016, 11:07:32 PM
Clue 2 - this is not a trick question. The rabbit's gender doesn't count.
and WHEN is christmas?
Today.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ElectricAngel on December 25, 2016, 09:31:15 PM
So I have a key chain of the Eiffel tower. I attached it to my backpack. Then I noticed the key chain broke and the Eiffel tower broke off. I now call it the I Fell Tower. (let me note this is a real story.)

Yeah puns are the extent of my comedy.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on December 26, 2016, 05:37:15 AM
Clue 2 - this is not a trick question. The rabbit's gender doesn't count.Today.
Did the rabbit pen have any rabbits before? If not, the rabbit cannot reproduce. And yes, gender does matter in reproduction.

So I have a key chain of the Eiffel tower. I attached it to my backpack. Then I noticed the key chain broke and the Eiffel tower broke off. I now call it the I Fell Tower. (let me note this is a real story.)

Yeah puns are the extent of my comedy.
lol



Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Resolutely on December 26, 2016, 09:33:52 AM
We also have to take into account how old is the rabbit the farmer put on January 1st. That riddle is filled with holes...


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on January 10, 2017, 12:49:59 PM
A guy stood in a plane and said "HIJACK" everyone on the plane got afraid.. from the other side of the plane another guy stood up and said "HI JOHN"


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: MariaYuki on January 10, 2017, 02:22:48 PM
If Number 2 pencils are so popular, why are they still Number 2?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on January 10, 2017, 02:24:45 PM
If Number 2 pencils are so popular, why are they still Number 2?
Lol


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ducky Momo on January 10, 2017, 02:31:28 PM
Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill-areas


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on January 10, 2017, 02:32:14 PM
Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill-areas
OMG XD


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on January 10, 2017, 10:53:43 PM
Two mathematicians were having dinner in a restaurant, arguing about the average mathematical knowledge of the American public. One mathematician claimed that this average was woefully inadequate, the other maintained that it was surprisingly high. "I'll tell you what," said the cynic. "Ask that waitress a simple math question. If she gets it right, I'll pick up dinner. If not, you do." He then excused himself to visit the men's room, and the other called the waitress over. "When my friend comes back," he told her, "I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to respond `one-third x cubed.' There's twenty bucks in it for you." She agreed. The cynic returned from the bathroom and called the waitress over. "The food was wonderful, thank you," the mathematician started. "Incidentally, do you know what the integral of x squared is?" The waitress looked pensive; almost pained. She looked around the room, at her feet, made gurgling noises, and finally said, "Um, one-third x cubed?" So the cynic paid the check. The waitress wheeled around, walked a few paces away, looked back at the two men, and muttered under her breath, "...plus a constant."


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Chiral of Doom on January 10, 2017, 10:55:04 PM
AHAHAHA


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ElectricAngel on January 10, 2017, 11:04:48 PM
Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill-areas
I actually chuckled. Puns are my weakness.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: WatermelonSlice on January 12, 2017, 04:45:42 AM
Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill-areas
lol XD.that pun is purr-fect


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Shrek on January 12, 2017, 04:47:52 AM
Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill-areas
lol XD XD XD XD XD


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Kangablue on January 16, 2017, 09:28:57 PM
I'm starting something new called "Riddle of the Week." PM me the answer to the riddle, and I'll keep track of it, and maybe I'll give a prize. I'm also putting a link to this in my signature.

This riddle is inspired by the riddles made by ted ed. This is my own riddle though.


     You’ve been captured in the works of a gumball machine by an evil mad scientist know as Professor Lekatinnariceggation. Professor Lekatinnariceggation isn’t like any archetypal evil mad scientist that wants to take over the world as fast as they can. Professor Lekatinnariceggation doesn't wanna take over the world at all. He just has a strange obsession of wanting to eat the people on it, that’s all.

   Anyways, the professor found out that human flesh is good for their recipes of gumball they like to use. Or well, for there new gumball coming out soon, that’s the color orange- Something that’s never been done in gumball technology before! It’s revolutionary! You’ve decided against your will to be the first person to be used for this revolutionary gumball… and you may want to get away from this situation. Just maybe.

   However, in the new article of the constitution added 2017 G.P.A. states in specific that it's against the law to kill someone without giving them a fair chance of escaping. Other professors just give a tiny hole for you to go through, but Professor Lekatinnariceggation has instead decided to give you a puzzle… or well, nine puzzles. The professor says the following:

   “I will think of a six digit whole number you have to guess. You have 7 guesses to guess what it is. I’ll give you red/green gumballs to resemble feedback. Green gumballs mean one of the numbers you guessed is in the correct place. Red gumballs mean one of the numbers you guessed is in the code, but in the wrong place. You have to do nine of these puzzle’s in a row, and if you get them all right, you can escape. Good luck!”

Can you find a strategy to where you will always be able to guess the six digit code in 7 or less guesses?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on January 17, 2017, 07:11:46 AM
Ah..
lemme think a little


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on January 20, 2017, 03:26:41 AM
I just have little questions later by PM
Joke: (think le it as a messengere conversation)
Mom
What does mean Idk, ly, ttyl?
I don't know, love you, talk to you later
okay I will go ask your sister


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: WatermelonSlice on January 20, 2017, 03:53:52 AM
Boy:would you like to be the sun of my life?
Girl:OMG YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Boy:good.now stay 149.6 million km away from me


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: MariaYuki on January 21, 2017, 06:49:58 PM
Boy:would you like to be the sun of my life?
Girl:OMG YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Boy:good.now stay 149.6 million km away from me
*Air horns honk


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ixora on January 23, 2017, 08:10:15 AM
Two mathematicians were having dinner in a restaurant, arguing about the average mathematical knowledge of the American public. One mathematician claimed that this average was woefully inadequate, the other maintained that it was surprisingly high. "I'll tell you what," said the cynic. "Ask that waitress a simple math question. If she gets it right, I'll pick up dinner. If not, you do." He then excused himself to visit the men's room, and the other called the waitress over. "When my friend comes back," he told her, "I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to respond `one-third x cubed.' There's twenty bucks in it for you." She agreed. The cynic returned from the bathroom and called the waitress over. "The food was wonderful, thank you," the mathematician started. "Incidentally, do you know what the integral of x squared is?" The waitress looked pensive; almost pained. She looked around the room, at her feet, made gurgling noises, and finally said, "Um, one-third x cubed?" So the cynic paid the check. The waitress wheeled around, walked a few paces away, looked back at the two men, and muttered under her breath, "...plus a constant."
Looooooooooooolllll


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Kangablue on January 23, 2017, 08:39:23 PM
Answer to first riddle coming soon, but heres the seccond riddle of the week- its the Survivor Atlantic riddle we just had for the reps.

TRY TO FIND OUT WHAT THE WINGERIA ORDER IS USING THESE CLUES:

The whole order was in... clues? What was this? Here's what the order said:

1. Think of the plate like a clock. Straight up is 12, then 1 is next clockwise, and it goes around. The numbers in the dip would then continue upwards, first dip being 13, seccond dip being 14, and it continues for how many dips there are. I also only want one sauce on all of my wings, which is BBJ Sauce.

2. I want two dips in the middle of the plate. The top dip (Item #13) should have a shorter name than the bottom dip. (Item #14)

3. I want a total of five meats and seven slides around the outside of the plate. I don't like regular wings though, so don't give me any.

4. I want only one chicken strip and put it on an even numbered spot on the left side of the plate, please.

5. Positions 6, 7, and 8 should contain three different foods that begin with the letter C.

6. I like French Fries, so give me three of them. One of them should be inbetween two boneless wings, somewhere on the right side of the plate.

7. I don't like healthy vegtables too much, but you can stick one kind of pepper in position 9 and two other healthy veggies (not peppers) some place next to each other.

8. I only want one serving of cheese cubes and put it in position 2, please.

9. French Fry + Another French Fry = Zesty Pesto Dip... wait what?

10. No two servings of the same food should appear next to each other on the plate.

11. Shrimp - Cheese Cube = French Fry

12. Ranch Dip - Celery = Carrot

13. Boneless Wing + Celery = Green Pepper

*NOTE: This logic problem was actually not mine, it was made by my mom for my birthday. :P It's pretty cool though, so I wanted to use it here. I changed it a bit though.

In case you don't know, here are the toppings in Papa's Wingeria, (Sauces not included, cause the only sauce that it can be due to clue number 1 is BBJ Sauce.)

DIPS: Awesome Sauce, Blue Cheese, Kung Pao, Mango Chilli, Ranch, and Zesty Pesto

MEATS: Wings, Boneless Wings, Chicken Strips, Shrimps

SIDES: Carrots, Celery, Cheese Cubes, French Fries, Green Peppers, Red Peppers.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Gato on January 23, 2017, 09:01:14 PM
Answer to first riddle coming soon, but heres the seccond riddle of the week- its the Survivor Atlantic riddle we just had for the reps.

TRY TO FIND OUT WHAT THE WINGERIA ORDER IS USING THESE CLUES:

The whole order was in... clues? What was this? Here's what the order said:

1. Think of the plate like a clock. Straight up is 12, then 1 is next clockwise, and it goes around. The numbers in the dip would then continue upwards, first dip being 13, seccond dip being 14, and it continues for how many dips there are. I also only want one sauce on all of my wings, which is BBJ Sauce.

2. I want two dips in the middle of the plate. The top dip (Item #13) should have a shorter name than the bottom dip. (Item #14)

3. I want a total of five meats and seven slides around the outside of the plate. I don't like regular wings though, so don't give me any.

4. I want only one chicken strip and put it on an even numbered spot on the left side of the plate, please.

5. Positions 6, 7, and 8 should contain three different foods that begin with the letter C.

6. I like French Fries, so give me three of them. One of them should be inbetween two boneless wings, somewhere on the right side of the plate.

7. I don't like healthy vegtables too much, but you can stick one kind of pepper in position 9 and two other healthy veggies (not peppers) some place next to each other.

8. I only want one serving of cheese cubes and put it in position 2, please.

9. French Fry + Another French Fry = Zesty Pesto Dip... wait what?

10. No two servings of the same food should appear next to each other on the plate.

11. Shrimp - Cheese Cube = French Fry

12. Ranch Dip - Celery = Carrot

13. Boneless Wing + Celery = Green Pepper

*NOTE: This logic problem was actually not mine, it was made by my mom for my birthday. :P It's pretty cool though, so I wanted to use it here. I changed it a bit though.

In case you don't know, here are the toppings in Papa's Wingeria, (Sauces not included, cause the only sauce that it can be due to clue number 1 is BBJ Sauce.)

DIPS: Awesome Sauce, Blue Cheese, Kung Pao, Mango Chilli, Ranch, and Zesty Pesto

MEATS: Wings, Boneless Wings, Chicken Strips, Shrimps

SIDES: Carrots, Celery, Cheese Cubes, French Fries, Green Peppers, Red Peppers.
BBJ?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: hyewon on January 23, 2017, 09:24:43 PM
i give up Kanga


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ianiant on January 23, 2017, 09:29:11 PM
1. Think of the plate like a clock. Straight up is 12, then 1 is next clockwise, and it goes around. The numbers in the dip would then continue upwards, first dip being 13, seccond dip being 14, and it continues for how many dips there are. I also only want one sauce on all of my wings, which is BBJ Sauce.

Boi XD

(http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/fliplinestudios/images/3/34/Barbecue.png/revision/latest?cb=20160516095747)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Kangablue on January 23, 2017, 09:47:25 PM
No, I relised the mistake, but desided not to change it. BBJ Sauce for the win!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Kangablue on January 23, 2017, 10:32:10 PM
Hey, can you delete that post and send it by PM? I don't want to spoil the answer to others.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Gato on January 24, 2017, 02:08:18 PM
No, I relised the mistake, but desided not to change it. BBJ Sauce for the win!
XD BBJ is not even near to BBQ


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Oofis on January 28, 2017, 12:20:33 AM
Alright, no one remembers the rabbit riddle anymore, but the correct answer was 144. The working out is tough but there's a pattern called Fibonacci which makes it easier, you just have to count like - 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, etc. and you add the last two numbers to get the next one. The 12th number in the sequence is 144 which is the answer.

Here's another riddle since Kangablue's full of them and he'll probably never stop puzzling or riddling or whatever it's called.

11 people went to a party hosted by Flipfan on the 11th of November. At 11:00, one of the partygoers stole the big birthday cake while no one was looking, not even Flipfan. 11 minutes later, Flipfan gathered everyone in the banquet room where he asked everyone who did it. Here are the alibis -

Dalia: "It wasn't me, I'd rather die! Trust me please!"
Chris: "I was nowhere near the banquet at that time, I can't have been the thief!
Herbert: "I could never be the thief, I'm far too respectful."
Blake (with Jordo): "It wasn't us! We'd never cause this sort of mess!"
Kylie: "I'm too small! One person could never eat the whole lot."
Jack: "Can't be me either. It has to be someone who's big." *looks at Zack*
Zack: "Hey! Just because I eat heaps doesn't mean I'd steal a cake! What about Marko, he's pretty well-built."
Marko: "What are you trying to say? I've known Flipfan for years and years, I could never treat him like this!"
Dalia: "Fern has yet to say anything. Care to explain why?"
Fern: "I have never stolen anything in my life, your theory is wrong Dalia!"
Kimmi: "I also deny, even though I have no alibi, but I'm Mr. Oofis' headmaster, and the headmaster of all of you as well. I have no reason to steal Mr. Oofis' cake, nor did I steal it."

Everyone here told the truth, believe it or not, but one of them is clearly a thief, and Flipfan was able to get the cake back from the guilty party instantly. So, who stole it?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: MariaYuki on January 28, 2017, 10:36:06 AM
Kylie. She never said she didn't steal it. Only that she couldn't eat it.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on January 28, 2017, 10:36:59 AM
Kylie. She never said she didn't steal it. Only that she couldn't eat it.
this^


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: WatermelonSlice on January 28, 2017, 03:59:03 PM
i think its Kimmi


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Oofis on January 28, 2017, 04:33:15 PM
There are four ways we can find the answer. The first one is the most obvious, and the other three are a bit more silly but they work.

The first way is to check out what they say. Dalia, Chris, Herbert, Blake, Jordo, Jack, Fern and Kimmi explicitly said they didn't steal the cake. Through context clues, we can also eliminate Zack and Marko, which leaves Kylie as the thief.

The second way is to prove by honesty.
Dalia says she'd rather die, so point a gun at her and see if she flinches. Chris said he wasn't around the banquet at 11:00, so check the surveillance camera you had in the banquet room. Herbert says he's too respectful to be a thief, so slap him and see if he slaps back. Blake and Jordo say they aren't messy, so litter on the ground and wait for them to react. Kylie said she's too small to eat heaps, so force-feed her and see how long she can eat for. Jack says the thief must be big, so weigh him. Zack said he's big but not well-built, so take his shirt off and see what's behind. Marko says he's known Flipfan for years, so ask him to show you photos of himself with Flipfan. Fern says she's never stolen anything before, so ask her if she's religious (because only religious people don't steal anything, right?). And leave Kimmi alone because she has a point.
You'll find that the only person who doesn't pass their personal test is Kylie, which means she's the thief.

The third way is to take into account the Twin Factor. Blake and Jordo spoke together, Kimmi and Chris are headmasters of good schools, Jack and Zack have rhyming names, Marko and Herbert are headmasters of evil schools, and Fern and Dalia are assistant headmasters. Again, this leaves Kylie to be the thief.

The fourth way, which is by far the silliest, is that this riddle seems to revolve around the number 11, so it has to be someone who's name starts with the 11th letter of the alphabet, which could be Kimmi or Kylie. But once again, the Twin Factor shows that it can't be Kimmi because her name has 2 M's in a row, so it's Kylie.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on February 14, 2017, 07:22:33 PM
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on February 15, 2017, 04:42:42 AM
But Islam is only to peau for god
See if you give him Islam and not any religion je won't starve
Joe, you're good at riddles, not jokes
No jokes
Especially no religion jokes
they suck and they hurt some people's feelings


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Faiz on February 15, 2017, 08:26:30 AM
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
it'd be funny if it wasn't sad


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: noname on February 15, 2017, 08:41:16 AM
Give a man fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ianiant on February 15, 2017, 03:34:16 PM
Give a man fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

The rest of his life will be about 15 seconds.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: MariaYuki on February 15, 2017, 05:07:14 PM
Give a man a diamond, he is rich until he blows it.
Give a man a diamond body, he will be rich forever, but be like this guy
(http://i63.tinypic.com/30nj528.jpg)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Kowhai on February 15, 2017, 09:29:11 PM
The rest of his life will be about 15 seconds.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DontExplainTheJoke


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Gato on February 15, 2017, 10:26:22 PM
:v, wut


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: hyewon on February 15, 2017, 10:28:55 PM
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.

Stop it, we've asked you to stop with it, it's offensive and not funny and rude and inconsiderate and even though you claim you aren't directly insulting the religious people, you're insulting them because religion is something they believe. You refuse to stop and if this continues, I will report you.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on February 16, 2017, 05:17:22 AM
Stop it, we've asked you to stop with it, it's offensive and not funny and rude and inconsiderate and even though you claim you aren't directly insulting the religious people, you're insulting them because religion is something they believe. You refuse to stop and if this continues, I will report you.
You'll report Joe to Joe
Lol XD


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Faiz on February 22, 2017, 08:11:15 AM
Tom's parents grayed to God to cure him of his belief in imaginary friends.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Gato on February 22, 2017, 02:14:07 PM
Tom's parents grayed to God to cure him of his belief in imaginary friends.
^-^


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Gato on February 22, 2017, 02:16:26 PM
I don't get it
Imaginary friends
God...
Get it?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on February 22, 2017, 02:36:48 PM
I got it now
...
.-.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: hyewon on February 22, 2017, 04:03:08 PM
You'll report Joe to Joe
Lol XD

No I'd report him to Matt lmao


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on February 22, 2017, 08:09:38 PM
I don't get it
The joke is based on an analogy atheists occasionally use which basically compares God to an imaginary friend for adults, there are several jokes based off of this analogy. I don't agree with the analogy.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ianiant on March 02, 2017, 08:04:27 PM
If Jesus supposedly died for our sin, then who died for our cos and tan?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Gato on March 02, 2017, 10:16:13 PM
Wut?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: hyewon on March 02, 2017, 10:16:49 PM
Wut?

math jokes


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Park Jinyoung on March 03, 2017, 05:08:40 PM
If Jesus supposedly died for our sin, then who died for our cos and tan?
And the fact that there's a lot of mathematics in the Bible XD


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Park Jinyoung on March 04, 2017, 07:26:39 AM
I was a man trapped in a woman's body...





until my mother gave birth to me.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: WatermelonSlice on March 04, 2017, 03:11:45 PM
The LEGS were hot and the BREASTS were delightful...







It was such a nice meal at KFC
XD people might think of something....


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ComicSans on March 05, 2017, 10:37:23 AM
2007: In 10 years, we're gonna find a cure for cancer, beat world hunger, and finally gain world peace

2017: (http://i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/021/985/image.png)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Gato on March 05, 2017, 11:00:44 AM
•_• ; •-• ; =_= ; +_+ ; :0)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Chiaki Nanami on March 06, 2017, 02:44:39 AM
2007: In 10 years, we're gonna find a cure for cancer, beat world hunger, and finally gain world peace

2017: (http://i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/021/985/image.png)
XD


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ComicSans on April 09, 2017, 05:26:21 PM
Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news. The tests showed that you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: That was the good news. The bad news is that I forgot to tell you yesterday!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ianiant on April 09, 2017, 05:31:28 PM
What's pink and square at the same time?







Patrick Squarepants!
(https://i.ytimg.com/vi/3WMIjY1h0m0/hqdefault.jpg)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: hyewon on April 09, 2017, 10:15:57 PM
What's pink and square at the same time?







Patrick Squarepants!
(https://i.ytimg.com/vi/3WMIjY1h0m0/hqdefault.jpg)

a pink square

Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news. The tests showed that you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: That was the good news. The bad news is that I forgot to tell you yesterday!

God I wish that were me


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ianiant on April 09, 2017, 11:04:38 PM
a pink square

Why didn't you check the spoiler?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Gato on April 10, 2017, 06:43:30 AM
Why didn't you check the spoiler?
Because that's not a square...
It's a rectangle  :P


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on April 10, 2017, 06:45:28 AM
:v

What did 0 say to 8
nice belt
why is 6 afraid from 7?
bcuz 7 8 9
aka 7 ate 9

more number/food puns?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: noname on April 10, 2017, 07:31:10 AM
How do you make holy water?

Boil the hell out of it


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: hyewon on April 10, 2017, 07:31:58 AM
Best joke ever:

My existence


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Chiral of Doom on April 10, 2017, 07:32:31 AM
same ^


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: noname on April 10, 2017, 07:36:20 AM
Me too thanks


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Theo on April 10, 2017, 07:38:34 AM
The best joke ever might be this forum


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ComicSans on April 10, 2017, 07:39:25 AM
The best joke ever might be this forum


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on April 10, 2017, 07:49:48 AM
Hi!
Hi! water you doing?~Said da watermelon


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: hyewon on April 10, 2017, 07:53:22 AM
The best joke ever might be this forum

ayyyy


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ianiant on April 10, 2017, 09:09:28 PM
Lawyer: My client is trapped in a penny.
Judge: What?
Lawyer: He's in a cent.
Judge: You are going to jail with him.


Title: Yo Mama Jokes
Post by: GalaxyGirl on April 10, 2017, 10:27:51 PM
We all love them, some hate them. Whatever. Yo Mama jokes are awesome, so post as many as you can under this page!


Title: Re: Yo Mama Jokes
Post by: kingdom of jerland on April 11, 2017, 06:05:13 AM
YO MAMA SO FAT THAT SHE SAT ON A RAINBOW AND SKITTLES FELL OUT!!!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: kingdom of jerland on April 11, 2017, 06:11:18 AM
What's pink and square at the same time?







Patrick Squarepants!
(https://i.ytimg.com/vi/3WMIjY1h0m0/hqdefault.jpg)





Patrick Squarepants!
(https://i.ytimg.com/vi/3WMIjY1h0m0/hqdefault.jpg)
[/quote]OmG! so funny!


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: AskJoe on April 30, 2017, 01:38:52 PM
Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks “Do all of you want a drink?” The first logician says “I don’t know.” The second logician says “I don’t know.” The third logician says “Yes!”


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on April 30, 2017, 03:50:06 PM
You already said that
And i still like it


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ianiant on May 03, 2017, 02:15:20 PM
Guy #1: Have you ever eaten fast food that didn't have sodium in it.
Guy #2: Na
Guy #1: Honestly, I think you should eat more potassium.
Guy #2: K
Guy #1: However, don't ever consume a mixture of iodine, carbon, and yttrium. It's dangerous.
Guy #2: I C Y
Guy #1: Hmm...do you see that huge canister over there? It's full of oxygen.
Guy #2: Yeah, I knew that.
Guy #1:  -_-


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: WatermelonSlice on May 03, 2017, 03:04:14 PM
Guy #1: Have you ever eaten fast food that didn't have sodium in it.
Guy #2: Na
Guy #1: Honestly, I think you should eat more potassium.
Guy #2: K
Guy #1: However, don't ever consume a mixture of iodine, carbon, and yttrium. It's dangerous.
Guy #2: I C Y
Guy #1: Hmm...do you see that huge canister over there? It's full of oxygen.
Guy #2: Yeah, I knew that.
Guy #1:  -_-
lol XD


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: MariaYuki on May 04, 2017, 07:22:14 AM
The best joke ever.
Life


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: A Red Cube on May 04, 2017, 11:08:58 AM
Guy 2 can't breathe. He is choking (or whatever it is)
Guy 1: HELP! IS ANYBODY HERE A DOCTOR?
Guy 3: I am!
Guy 1: Well you're a NERD!
*Guy 1 and 2 high five*

old asdf joke lol


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: ComicSans on December 26, 2017, 04:37:00 PM
"All this gender-neutral stuff is worrying me. My name is Guy Manson. Will I have to change it to Person PersonPerson?"

- Guy, Lyndhurst


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: dar on December 26, 2017, 04:39:48 PM
"All this gender-neutral stuff is worrying me. My name is Guy Manson. Will I have to change it to Person PersonPerson?"

- Guy, Lyndhurst
Person AdultChild*


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: dar on December 26, 2017, 04:43:43 PM
If Jesus supposedly died for our sin, then who died for our cos and tan?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Chiral of Doom on December 26, 2017, 11:54:23 PM
If Jesus supposedly died for our sin, then who died for our cos and tan?
Pythagoreas


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Poppy Gloria on December 27, 2017, 12:50:33 AM
Santa: What would you like for Christmas?
Kid: I want a dragon!!
Santa: How about something more realistic.
Kid: Net neutrality.
Santa: What color do you want your dragon to be?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Chiral of Doom on December 27, 2017, 12:52:37 AM
damn
ouch


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Chiral of Doom on January 18, 2018, 06:23:46 PM
I have a joke guys. What's the difference between s***hole and the r word that can happen to women, with 4 letters? One gets ya a SB ban for 3 days, the other doesn't


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: hyewon on January 18, 2018, 06:24:45 PM
My ban is a joke


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles page
Post by: Ianiant on January 18, 2018, 06:25:45 PM
My ban is a joke

Same


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles
Post by: AskJoe on January 30, 2018, 05:38:29 PM
(http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/religion/choose.png)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles
Post by: Kirby on February 05, 2018, 07:45:20 AM
(https://images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/aGRQMMz_700b.jpg)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles
Post by: Abu on February 05, 2018, 01:23:21 PM
(http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/religion/choose.png)
So, the converts don't exist anymore? Horrible selective bias here.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles
Post by: Louie on February 05, 2018, 08:41:45 PM
You know when you're playing risk with your sibling and then your parents get a divorce.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles
Post by: Faiz on February 05, 2018, 08:53:44 PM
(http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/religion/choose.png)
Children are impressionable. If you tell them religion exists; they'll believe it. If you tell them it does not exist; they'll believe that too.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles
Post by: AyKooChao on May 01, 2018, 06:21:35 PM
"The 43rd Pokémon in the Pokédex is the weirdest one."

"It's not that weird, it's just Oddish."

*runs off dodging flying tomato sandwiches*


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles
Post by: Poppy Gloria on May 01, 2018, 06:25:12 PM
The Oddish 1s Out


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles
Post by: Ianiant on May 01, 2018, 06:29:17 PM
I have a joke.

Ianiant


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles
Post by: Keeza Andrews on May 01, 2018, 06:35:25 PM
I have a joke.

Ianiant
I have an answer
an answer


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles
Post by: Poppy Gloria on May 01, 2018, 06:38:52 PM
Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles
Post by: Bandero on May 01, 2018, 07:12:59 PM
Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.
The other one got roasted really hard


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles
Post by: Faiz on May 01, 2018, 08:54:40 PM
*At a funeral*
Guy: May I say a word?
Widow: Sure, go ahead.
Guy: Assign
Widow. Thank you. It means allot.


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles
Post by: AyKooChao on July 03, 2018, 05:46:31 PM
WARNING: Microwavely bad joke ahead.

Q: What do you call artificial cereal?

A: Cornfakes


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles
Post by: Theo on July 03, 2018, 05:54:17 PM
but why


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles
Post by: AyKooChao on July 03, 2018, 06:02:13 PM
I don't know. ^^;


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles
Post by: WatermelonSlice on July 04, 2018, 02:05:58 AM
WARNING: Microwavely bad joke ahead.

Q: What do you call artificial cereal?

A: Cornfakes
https://youtu.be/iYVO5bUFww0


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles
Post by: JEBZ Komics on November 15, 2018, 08:53:33 PM
Brother Z: What's the riddle?  ;)
What do you call a thing that has a bed, but doesn't sleep. It runs but doesn't have feet. And it has a mouth, but never eats. What am I?


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles
Post by: AyKooChao on November 15, 2018, 09:20:02 PM
A river


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles
Post by: JEBZ Komics on November 16, 2018, 09:57:56 AM
A river
Brother Z: Yes, you are right!  :D


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles
Post by: Ianiant on November 17, 2018, 02:13:29 PM
 D;

(http://www.quickmeme.com/img/dd/ddd586d07cbc1a3082aaff117c0ab6b6a91b14d4d09faf66c018d0e821e04fe7.jpg)


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles
Post by: AyKooChao on April 19, 2019, 05:38:15 AM
Cornflake 1: I made something in PLP!

Cornflake 2: I know, I've already scene it.

*runs from the Pun Police*


Title: Re: Jokes & Riddles
Post by: JEBZ Komics on April 19, 2019, 08:39:08 AM
Cornflake 1: I made something in PLP!

Cornflake 2: I know, I've already scene it.

*runs from the Pun Police*
Brother E: Oh wow! ;D