Jokes & Riddles

[Oofis]

Alright, no one remembers the rabbit riddle anymore, but the correct answer was 144. The working out is tough but there's a pattern called Fibonacci which makes it easier, you just have to count like - 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, etc. and you add the last two numbers to get the next one. The 12th number in the sequence is 144 which is the answer.

Here's another riddle since Kangablue's full of them and he'll probably never stop puzzling or riddling or whatever it's called.

11 people went to a party hosted by Flipfan on the 11th of November. At 11:00, one of the partygoers stole the big birthday cake while no one was looking, not even Flipfan. 11 minutes later, Flipfan gathered everyone in the banquet room where he asked everyone who did it. Here are the alibis -

Dalia: "It wasn't me, I'd rather die! Trust me please!"
Chris: "I was nowhere near the banquet at that time, I can't have been the thief!
Herbert: "I could never be the thief, I'm far too respectful."
Blake (with Jordo): "It wasn't us! We'd never cause this sort of mess!"
Kylie: "I'm too small! One person could never eat the whole lot."
Jack: "Can't be me either. It has to be someone who's big." *looks at Zack*
Zack: "Hey! Just because I eat heaps doesn't mean I'd steal a cake! What about Marko, he's pretty well-built."
Marko: "What are you trying to say? I've known Flipfan for years and years, I could never treat him like this!"
Dalia: "Fern has yet to say anything. Care to explain why?"
Fern: "I have never stolen anything in my life, your theory is wrong Dalia!"
Kimmi: "I also deny, even though I have no alibi, but I'm Mr. Oofis' headmaster, and the headmaster of all of you as well. I have no reason to steal Mr. Oofis' cake, nor did I steal it."

Everyone here told the truth, believe it or not, but one of them is clearly a thief, and Flipfan was able to get the cake back from the guilty party instantly. So, who stole it?

[MariaYuki]

Kylie. She never said she didn't steal it. Only that she couldn't eat it.

[Ataino]

Kylie. She never said she didn't steal it. Only that she couldn't eat it.

this^

[PastaFan3000]

i think its Kimmi

[Oofis]

There are four ways we can find the answer. The first one is the most obvious, and the other three are a bit more silly but they work.

The first way is to check out what they say. Dalia, Chris, Herbert, Blake, Jordo, Jack, Fern and Kimmi explicitly said they didn't steal the cake. Through context clues, we can also eliminate Zack and Marko, which leaves Kylie as the thief.

The second way is to prove by honesty.

Spoiler:

Dalia says she'd rather die, so point a gun at her and see if she flinches. Chris said he wasn't around the banquet at 11:00, so check the surveillance camera you had in the banquet room. Herbert says he's too respectful to be a thief, so slap him and see if he slaps back. Blake and Jordo say they aren't messy, so litter on the ground and wait for them to react. Kylie said she's too small to eat heaps, so force-feed her and see how long she can eat for. Jack says the thief must be big, so weigh him. Zack said he's big but not well-built, so take his shirt off and see what's behind. Marko says he's known Flipfan for years, so ask him to show you photos of himself with Flipfan. Fern says she's never stolen anything before, so ask her if she's religious (because only religious people don't steal anything, right?). And leave Kimmi alone because she has a point.
You'll find that the only person who doesn't pass their personal test is Kylie, which means she's the thief.

The third way is to take into account the Twin Factor. Blake and Jordo spoke together, Kimmi and Chris are headmasters of good schools, Jack and Zack have rhyming names, Marko and Herbert are headmasters of evil schools, and Fern and Dalia are assistant headmasters. Again, this leaves Kylie to be the thief.

The fourth way, which is by far the silliest, is that this riddle seems to revolve around the number 11, so it has to be someone who's name starts with the 11th letter of the alphabet, which could be Kimmi or Kylie. But once again, the Twin Factor shows that it can't be Kimmi because her name has 2 M's in a row, so it's Kylie.

[AskJoe]

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.

[Ataino]

But Islam is only to peau for god
See if you give him Islam and not any religion je won't starve
Joe, you're good at riddles, not jokes
No jokes
Especially no religion jokes
they suck and they hurt some people's feelings

[Faiz]

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.

it'd be funny if it wasn't sad

[noname]

Give a man fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

[Ianiant]

Give a man fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

The rest of his life will be about 15 seconds.

[MariaYuki]

Give a man a diamond, he is rich until he blows it.
Give a man a diamond body, he will be rich forever, but be like this guy

[Kowhai]

The rest of his life will be about 15 seconds.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DontExplainTheJoke

[Gato]

:v, wut

[yeri]

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.

Stop it, we've asked you to stop with it, it's offensive and not funny and rude and inconsiderate and even though you claim you aren't directly insulting the religious people, you're insulting them because religion is something they believe. You refuse to stop and if this continues, I will report you.

[Ataino]

Stop it, we've asked you to stop with it, it's offensive and not funny and rude and inconsiderate and even though you claim you aren't directly insulting the religious people, you're insulting them because religion is something they believe. You refuse to stop and if this continues, I will report you.

You'll report Joe to Joe
Lol