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Author Topic: Jokes & Riddles  (Read 102124 times)
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« Reply #375 on: February 24, 2015, 08:59:51 PM »

Three Scots and three Irishmen are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Irishmen each buy tickets and watch as the three Scots buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an Irishman. "Watch and you'll see," answers a Scot.

They all board the train. The Irishmen take their respective seats but all three Scots cram into a bathroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the bathroom door and says,"Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The Irishmen see this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Irishmen decide to copy the Scots on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money,and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Scots don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed Irishman. Watch and you'll see," answers a Scot.

When they board the train the three Irishmen cram into a bathroom and the three Scots cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterwards, one of the Scots leaves his bathroom and walks over to the bathroom where the Irishmen are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."
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« Reply #376 on: February 26, 2015, 10:26:55 AM »

One day, a couple was fighting.
Husband: My son likes me more than you got it?
Wife: Oh really? I tolerated so much of pain for 9 months for him and he likes me only!
Thus the fight went on and the decided to test whom their son likes. They planned to throw a pebble at their son's head. If he says "OH MOM!" then he likes his mother and if he says "OH DAD!" then he likes his father.
They hid in the bushes and threw a stone at their son's head when he went to the garden. He screamed out "Who the eff did that?!"
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As SuperCub: SC, Cub, Super, Cubby, Cubbypigs, Sugarcub, Cubster, Cubbypiggy, Cubby Cub, Cubby bubby, Cubz, SugarCubby, Suppercubby, Supery, Princess Cub... hey did I forget any other name?

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PizzaGod!
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« Reply #377 on: April 22, 2016, 04:30:57 PM »

Post Jokes.
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« Reply #378 on: April 22, 2016, 04:41:55 PM »

I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

Got To admit That Was Funny!!
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PizzaGod!
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« Reply #379 on: April 22, 2016, 04:42:51 PM »

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

That Too

By the Way I'm Not Making These Up, They Are Off The Internet.
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« Reply #380 on: April 22, 2016, 04:43:52 PM »

    I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.

Ok this is a bad one!
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PizzaGod!
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« Reply #381 on: April 23, 2016, 10:28:44 AM »

No one Is going  to post on here right? Someone answer me!!!!!!!
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ChefNova
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« Reply #382 on: April 23, 2016, 10:31:11 AM »

I got a joke...

JOHN CENA AAHHAHA THAT IS SOOOOO FUNNY!!!11111! *sarcasm*
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Summer4ever
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« Reply #383 on: April 23, 2016, 11:49:46 AM »

Why did the chicken cross the road?

TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE
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Balloon Girl
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« Reply #384 on: April 23, 2016, 11:57:08 AM »

I know yo momma jokes are so old, but I couldn't help it :p

Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.

Yo mama so fat that she gave Dracula diabetes.

Yo mama so fat when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease, the doctors gave her 10 years to live.
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PizzaGod!
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« Reply #385 on: April 25, 2016, 09:35:23 AM »

Why did the chicken cross the road?

TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

AMAZING JOKE

10/10 IGN
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cozyhighway
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« Reply #386 on: June 23, 2016, 08:47:00 PM »

Q Which side would win if Norway decided to have a referendum to leave EU?
A Noexit

(Sadly Norway isn't part of EU)
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Ixora
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« Reply #387 on: June 30, 2016, 10:43:01 AM »

A bit inappropriate but blah
I'm warning you!:
Boys are like your bra.
You start getting them (pun intended) from the day you mature.
Although they make you feel uncomfortable, you've already been brainwashed by society into thinking that you can't live without them.
By now you really can't live without their support, and you feel insecure going out without one.
All of these factors eventually lead to a love-hate feeling for them.

Lol sorry for this bad joke but I really felt like sharing this cuz this makes so much sense!
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Welcome to my sig~:
My nicknames:
As SuperCub: SC, Cub, Super, Cubby, Cubbypigs, Sugarcub, Cubster, Cubbypiggy, Cubby Cub, Cubby bubby, Cubz, SugarCubby, Suppercubby, Supery, Princess Cub... hey did I forget any other name?

As Shaira: Poetess, Shairapigs, Shairapiggy, Shai, S, Shy

As Ixora: Ixo

JSYK, all my names carry a patriotic message.
Hashtags:
#PacmanForSmiley #BringBackCMC  #YayLenny  #MakeADifference or #MaD     #LIUB  #StopYulinFestival #NoVATonEducation #PrayForTheWorld #DesiMomProblems


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« Reply #388 on: July 03, 2016, 03:48:32 AM »

hey can puns be considered as joke?
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Ixora
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« Reply #389 on: July 03, 2016, 04:00:32 AM »

hey can puns be considered as joke?
Do we have a separate topic for puns?
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Welcome to my sig~:
My nicknames:
As SuperCub: SC, Cub, Super, Cubby, Cubbypigs, Sugarcub, Cubster, Cubbypiggy, Cubby Cub, Cubby bubby, Cubz, SugarCubby, Suppercubby, Supery, Princess Cub... hey did I forget any other name?

As Shaira: Poetess, Shairapigs, Shairapiggy, Shai, S, Shy

As Ixora: Ixo

JSYK, all my names carry a patriotic message.
Hashtags:
#PacmanForSmiley #BringBackCMC  #YayLenny  #MakeADifference or #MaD     #LIUB  #StopYulinFestival #NoVATonEducation #PrayForTheWorld #DesiMomProblems


When Forumers are bad, Filter is of no use.
When Forumers are good, Filter is of no need.
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