Jokes & Riddles

[Ataino]

Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill-areas

OMG

[AskJoe]

Two mathematicians were having dinner in a restaurant, arguing about the average mathematical knowledge of the American public. One mathematician claimed that this average was woefully inadequate, the other maintained that it was surprisingly high. "I'll tell you what," said the cynic. "Ask that waitress a simple math question. If she gets it right, I'll pick up dinner. If not, you do." He then excused himself to visit the men's room, and the other called the waitress over. "When my friend comes back," he told her, "I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to respond `one-third x cubed.' There's twenty bucks in it for you." She agreed. The cynic returned from the bathroom and called the waitress over. "The food was wonderful, thank you," the mathematician started. "Incidentally, do you know what the integral of x squared is?" The waitress looked pensive; almost pained. She looked around the room, at her feet, made gurgling noises, and finally said, "Um, one-third x cubed?" So the cynic paid the check. The waitress wheeled around, walked a few paces away, looked back at the two men, and muttered under her breath, "...plus a constant."

[ElectricAngel]

Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill-areas

I actually chuckled. Puns are my weakness.

[mika]

Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill-areas

lol .^{_{that pun is purr-fect}}

[Shrek]

Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill-areas

lol

[Kangablue]

I'm starting something new called "Riddle of the Week." PM me the answer to the riddle, and I'll keep track of it, and maybe I'll give a prize. I'm also putting a link to this in my signature.

This riddle is inspired by the riddles made by ted ed. This is my own riddle though.

     You’ve been captured in the works of a gumball machine by an evil mad scientist know as Professor Lekatinnariceggation. Professor Lekatinnariceggation isn’t like any archetypal evil mad scientist that wants to take over the world as fast as they can. Professor Lekatinnariceggation doesn't wanna take over the world at all. He just has a strange obsession of wanting to eat the people on it, that’s all.

   Anyways, the professor found out that human flesh is good for their recipes of gumball they like to use. Or well, for there new gumball coming out soon, that’s the color orange- Something that’s never been done in gumball technology before! It’s revolutionary! You’ve decided against your will to be the first person to be used for this revolutionary gumball… and you may want to get away from this situation. Just maybe.

   However, in the new article of the constitution added 2017 G.P.A. states in specific that it's against the law to kill someone without giving them a fair chance of escaping. Other professors just give a tiny hole for you to go through, but Professor Lekatinnariceggation has instead decided to give you a puzzle… or well, nine puzzles. The professor says the following:

   “I will think of a six digit whole number you have to guess. You have 7 guesses to guess what it is. I’ll give you red/green gumballs to resemble feedback. Green gumballs mean one of the numbers you guessed is in the correct place. Red gumballs mean one of the numbers you guessed is in the code, but in the wrong place. You have to do nine of these puzzle’s in a row, and if you get them all right, you can escape. Good luck!”

Can you find a strategy to where you will always be able to guess the six digit code in 7 or less guesses?

[Ataino]

Ah..
lemme think a little

[Ataino]

I just have little questions later by PM
Joke: (think le it as a messengere conversation)

Mom

What does mean Idk, ly, ttyl?

I don't know, love you, talk to you later

okay I will go ask your sister

[mika]

Boy:would you like to be the sun of my life?
Girl:OMG YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Boy:good.now stay 149.6 million km away from me

[MariaYuki]

Boy:would you like to be the sun of my life?
Girl:OMG YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Boy:good.now stay 149.6 million km away from me

*Air horns honk

[Ixora]

Two mathematicians were having dinner in a restaurant, arguing about the average mathematical knowledge of the American public. One mathematician claimed that this average was woefully inadequate, the other maintained that it was surprisingly high. "I'll tell you what," said the cynic. "Ask that waitress a simple math question. If she gets it right, I'll pick up dinner. If not, you do." He then excused himself to visit the men's room, and the other called the waitress over. "When my friend comes back," he told her, "I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to respond `one-third x cubed.' There's twenty bucks in it for you." She agreed. The cynic returned from the bathroom and called the waitress over. "The food was wonderful, thank you," the mathematician started. "Incidentally, do you know what the integral of x squared is?" The waitress looked pensive; almost pained. She looked around the room, at her feet, made gurgling noises, and finally said, "Um, one-third x cubed?" So the cynic paid the check. The waitress wheeled around, walked a few paces away, looked back at the two men, and muttered under her breath, "...plus a constant."

Looooooooooooolllll

[Kangablue]

Answer to first riddle coming soon, but heres the seccond riddle of the week- its the Survivor Atlantic riddle we just had for the reps.

TRY TO FIND OUT WHAT THE WINGERIA ORDER IS USING THESE CLUES:

The whole order was in... clues? What was this? Here's what the order said:

1. Think of the plate like a clock. Straight up is 12, then 1 is next clockwise, and it goes around. The numbers in the dip would then continue upwards, first dip being 13, seccond dip being 14, and it continues for how many dips there are. I also only want one sauce on all of my wings, which is BBJ Sauce.

2. I want two dips in the middle of the plate. The top dip (Item #13) should have a shorter name than the bottom dip. (Item #14)

3. I want a total of five meats and seven slides around the outside of the plate. I don't like regular wings though, so don't give me any.

4. I want only one chicken strip and put it on an even numbered spot on the left side of the plate, please.

5. Positions 6, 7, and 8 should contain three different foods that begin with the letter C.

6. I like French Fries, so give me three of them. One of them should be inbetween two boneless wings, somewhere on the right side of the plate.

7. I don't like healthy vegtables too much, but you can stick one kind of pepper in position 9 and two other healthy veggies (not peppers) some place next to each other.

8. I only want one serving of cheese cubes and put it in position 2, please.

9. French Fry + Another French Fry = Zesty Pesto Dip... wait what?

10. No two servings of the same food should appear next to each other on the plate.

11. Shrimp - Cheese Cube = French Fry

12. Ranch Dip - Celery = Carrot

13. Boneless Wing + Celery = Green Pepper

*NOTE: This logic problem was actually not mine, it was made by my mom for my birthday. It's pretty cool though, so I wanted to use it here. I changed it a bit though.

In case you don't know, here are the toppings in Papa's Wingeria, (Sauces not included, cause the only sauce that it can be due to clue number 1 is BBJ Sauce.)

DIPS: Awesome Sauce, Blue Cheese, Kung Pao, Mango Chilli, Ranch, and Zesty Pesto

MEATS: Wings, Boneless Wings, Chicken Strips, Shrimps

SIDES: Carrots, Celery, Cheese Cubes, French Fries, Green Peppers, Red Peppers.

[Gato]

Answer to first riddle coming soon, but heres the seccond riddle of the week- its the Survivor Atlantic riddle we just had for the reps.

TRY TO FIND OUT WHAT THE WINGERIA ORDER IS USING THESE CLUES:

The whole order was in... clues? What was this? Here's what the order said:

1. Think of the plate like a clock. Straight up is 12, then 1 is next clockwise, and it goes around. The numbers in the dip would then continue upwards, first dip being 13, seccond dip being 14, and it continues for how many dips there are. I also only want one sauce on all of my wings, which is BBJ Sauce.

2. I want two dips in the middle of the plate. The top dip (Item #13) should have a shorter name than the bottom dip. (Item #14)

3. I want a total of five meats and seven slides around the outside of the plate. I don't like regular wings though, so don't give me any.

4. I want only one chicken strip and put it on an even numbered spot on the left side of the plate, please.

5. Positions 6, 7, and 8 should contain three different foods that begin with the letter C.

6. I like French Fries, so give me three of them. One of them should be inbetween two boneless wings, somewhere on the right side of the plate.

7. I don't like healthy vegtables too much, but you can stick one kind of pepper in position 9 and two other healthy veggies (not peppers) some place next to each other.

8. I only want one serving of cheese cubes and put it in position 2, please.

9. French Fry + Another French Fry = Zesty Pesto Dip... wait what?

10. No two servings of the same food should appear next to each other on the plate.

11. Shrimp - Cheese Cube = French Fry

12. Ranch Dip - Celery = Carrot

13. Boneless Wing + Celery = Green Pepper

*NOTE: This logic problem was actually not mine, it was made by my mom for my birthday. It's pretty cool though, so I wanted to use it here. I changed it a bit though.

In case you don't know, here are the toppings in Papa's Wingeria, (Sauces not included, cause the only sauce that it can be due to clue number 1 is BBJ Sauce.)

DIPS: Awesome Sauce, Blue Cheese, Kung Pao, Mango Chilli, Ranch, and Zesty Pesto

MEATS: Wings, Boneless Wings, Chicken Strips, Shrimps

SIDES: Carrots, Celery, Cheese Cubes, French Fries, Green Peppers, Red Peppers.

BBJ?

[Ianiant]

1. Think of the plate like a clock. Straight up is 12, then 1 is next clockwise, and it goes around. The numbers in the dip would then continue upwards, first dip being 13, seccond dip being 14, and it continues for how many dips there are. I also only want one sauce on all of my wings, which is BBJ Sauce.

Boi

[Kangablue]

No, I relised the mistake, but desided not to change it. BBJ Sauce for the win!