Vol. I: Issue 043                                                                                             October 16th, 2026

Breaking news out of Starlight City, where records were shattered Wednesday during an art auction featuring works by the mysterious street artist RypToe.

By the time the final gavel fell, RypToe’s works had sold for a combined $2,508,013, an extraordinary showing for an artist who, not all that long ago, was better known for leaving mysterious pieces on city walls than hanging them inside galleries.

Then last night came another surprise.

Quinn, of Just Quinn and Associates, held a press briefing on behalf of her famously absent client. RypToe, as you might expect, was nowhere to be seen, but Quinn arrived with an announcement that certainly got everyone’s attention.

After keeping $250,000 from his share of the auction, RypToe is donating everything else to two causes. Thirty percent will go to Foodini’s Save-A-Snackimal Foundation, while the remaining 70 percent will support Georgito’s Ketona Counterpunch Project, helping with the ongoing recovery and rebuilding effort in Ketona Beach.

Both Foodini and Georgito joined Quinn onstage to accept a pair of appropriately oversized checks on behalf of their organizations.

For an artist who never speaks publicly and seems perfectly comfortable letting his work do the talking, this may be one of RypToe’s clearest statements yet. His identity remains a mystery, but where he wants much of his newfound success to go is now anything but.

I’ll be keeping an eye on where these donations make an impact, and on whatever RypToe decides to leave us next, because Duke’s Gotcha covered!

Hiya friends!

Well, my day just got a whole lot sunnier!

The Cookie Scouts sent over the upcoming box art for my JamBones, and can you believe how cute it is?! Seeing my little cookies all dressed up and ready for Cookie Scouts to start selling is still completely surreal to me. I may have stared at the box for an embarrassing amount of time.

Now, let’s head over to Tacodale, where the week starts off warm and breezy, with Saturday feeling especially toasty for late October.

That does come with a catch, though, because a strong front rolls through later in the day with thunderstorms and brings a pretty noticeable cool-down behind it. After that, things settle into a much calmer stretch, with plenty of sunshine, crisp mornings, and comfortable afternoons through most of the week.

So enjoy that little burst of warmth while it lasts, then get ready for a much more fall-like feel to settle in over Tacodale.

The Mumph here, and hey, things are looking pretty bright for me too. Congrats again, Zepha. I am already foreseeing a whole lot of those boxes finding their way into my pantry.

But I have some big news of my own, folks. This Sunday, The Mumph is stepping back behind the announce desk for W8W, and not just for any old show. I’ll be calling the play-by-play at Rumble in the Ring, one of their big pay-per-view extravaganzas.

Last time I did this, I was learning the sport on the fly. Now? Whole different story. I’ve been watching the tapes, learning the lingo, picking up the move names, and somewhere along the way I went from “hey, this wrestling stuff is pretty fun” to yelling at my television over missed tags and bad ring positioning. I am pumped, folks. Headset on, bell rings, let’s go.

But first, baseball, and holy smokes, Oniontown and Powder Point gave us a pitcher’s duel.

Eight full innings, nothing. Zeroes everywhere. Spumano and Levain just kept trading clean frames, and by the ninth it felt like one mistake, one lucky bounce, one well-placed ball was going to decide the whole thing.

Then Oniontown finally scratches one across in the top of the ninth. One run. That was it. Spumano comes back out with the lead and finishes the job, putting one last zero on the board for Powder Point.

Final score, Oniontown Crushers 1, Powder Point Woollies 0. Winner, Oniontown. MVP, Spumano on the mound. Crushers move to 1 and 2, Woollies fall to 1 and 2.

My two cents, when your offense gives you exactly one run and you make it enough, you earned that MVP. Spumano was nails.

Hello out there…

Well, I suppose I finally have to say the name I have been avoiding for quite some time…NNQ.

News Never Quits is a little Oniontown operation that has grown considerably over the last five years, largely by understanding one very simple rule: an outrageous headline travels faster than a correction.

You may remember their infamous “Papa’s Meltdown” video, the supposedly explosive footage that our investigative team later demonstrated was a NuPT-generated hoax. NNQ ran with it anyway. That has always been my issue with their brand of journalism. Get the headline first. Ask whether it is true somewhere farther down the priority list. This week, apparently, it was our turn.

NNQ published a story about NowTime News that mentioned yours truly more than once and suggested that this company somehow benefits financially from portraying Oniontown in a negative light. According to their theory, stirring up trouble in Oniontown means more readers, more advertising, and more money.

There is one small problem with that narrative. I actually like Oniontown.

I spent my college years there. I have praised its people, its art scene, its grit, and the energy that makes it unlike anywhere else on Gurth. Have I also reported on corruption, questionable businesses, and things happening in its backyard that deserve scrutiny? Absolutely. That is not defamation. That is reporting.

NNQ also managed to label NowTime News a collection of “vigilante-harboring elitists,” which I admit is a creative arrangement of words. I assume that particular jab is aimed at my long-standing support for Ninjoy, so let me make something very clear: I am Team Ninjoy. Me. Shannon. That opinion is mine and does not automatically become the position of everyone who signs a paycheck in this building.

And the suggestion that NowTime News is secretly sheltering Ninjoy while I manipulate stories to keep her out of trouble?

Really?

I have defended Ninjoy when the evidence supported her. I have questioned authorities when their version of events left inconvenient details on the cutting-room floor. If NNQ has evidence that I fabricated any of those details, withheld something important, or knowingly misled my readers, I would genuinely like to see it.

Not insinuations. Not anonymous whispers. Not a headline designed to make people angry enough to click. Evidence.

Because that is the difference between investigating someone and simply deciding what story you would like to tell about them.

NNQ says News Never Quits.

Good.

Neither do I.

And that’s The Scoop.

Hey Everyone!

We are celebrating 20 amazing years of Papa Louie and his iconic customers who have shaped this beloved universe.

This week, we’re shining the spotlight on Kahuna, who made his debut in the classic 2011 game Papa’s Freezeria! To celebrate our favorite wave-riding legend, we have created two new looks for him: the dazzling Golden Outfit and the nostalgic Spirit of ’06 Outfit!

Vol. I: Issue 042                                                                                             October 9th, 2026

Breaking news out of Tricksylvania, where the town’s month-long Halloween celebration is officially in full swing.

Mayor Gretel kicked off the festivities last week by taking part in one of Tricksylvania’s oldest and most unusual traditions. Every year on the first night of October, the sitting mayor dons the costume of Pumpkinstein, the ancient folk monster whose legend has been woven into the town’s Halloween celebrations for generations.

Once darkness falls, Pumpkinstein makes the rounds, leaving specially carved pumpkins on the doorsteps of 31 unsuspecting residents. Those lucky recipients become that year’s Torchguard, with each member representing one of Tricksylvania’s 31 peaks.

And their job does not end with a pumpkin on the porch.

On the final night of October, all 31 members of the Torchguard gather at Fawksfire Square, torches in hand, for the ceremonial lighting of the Great Pumpkinstein Bonfire. It is one of the biggest moments of the season, bringing the month-long celebration to a fiery close right in the heart of town.

Between now and then, expect plenty of your favorite tricks, treats, costumes, and creepy traditions popping up throughout Tricksylvania. And I’ll be keeping watch for any new surprises this spooky season has hiding in the shadows, because Duke’s Gotcha covered!

Hiya friends!

Toby and the Cobblers are heading to Sakura Bay this weekend, and I was actually supposed to be there for the show. But, um… let’s just say those plans fell through. So if anybody out there wants two tickets, send me a message over on HeadCase. I’d rather somebody get to enjoy them.

As for Sakura Bay itself, well, the weather seems to be matching the mood a little bit. It’s looking cool, gray, and pretty soggy through the weekend, with plenty of drizzle, steady showers, and those low clouds settling in around the hills.

Things do start to dry out a little as we move into the new week, and we may even sneak in a few patches of sunshine here and there, but overall it stays on the cool and cloudy side.

So, umbrellas and light jackets this week, friends. Hopefully Sakura Bay gets a few brighter moments in there somewhere.

The Mumph here, and I’ve been keeping one eye on baseball and the other on all this CFL preseason drama. Biggest headline this week, the Starlight City Green Sox are now officially the Starlight City Bankrollers, and hoo boy, longtime fans have opinions.

I get it. Team names get wrapped up in memories, old jerseys, games you went to with your pops, all that good stuff. You change the name and suddenly everybody has something to say. Bankrollers is gonna take some getting used to, but give it time, folks. Put a few wins on the board and that new name might start sounding a whole lot sweeter.

Speaking of wins, the Burgerburgh Sizzlers are still perfect.

Burgerburgh jumped on Tacodale right away with two runs in the first. The Hardshells answered with one, but the Sizzlers tacked on another in the third and then spent the rest of the afternoon protecting that 3 to 1 lead. Tacodale finally broke through again in the ninth and made things interesting, but one last push was not enough.

MVP goes to Basteau at shortstop. In a game where the lead has to survive six straight scoreless innings, you want somebody dependable in the middle of that infield, and Basteau helped keep Burgerburgh steady all the way to that final out.

Final score, Burgerburgh Sizzlers 3, Tacodale Hardshells 2. Winner, Burgerburgh. MVP, Basteau.

My two cents, 3 and 0 is 3 and 0, folks. Burgerburgh keeps finding different ways to win, and right now those Sizzlers are cooking.

Hello out there…

Well, The Scoop is stuck talking trash this week.

How can I not? It is piling up everywhere.

Ever since Thrasher’s Heap shut down the Quickskip tunnel, garbage collection across the Continental Concordia has been grinding to a halt. Bags are stacking up on sidewalks, dumpsters are overflowing, and let me assure you, the situation smells every bit as bad as it looks.

What frustrates me most is how predictable this was.

Ty Quilton made the Heap’s intentions clear. And, not to polish my own shovel here, I raised concerns about that tunnel months ago. The Concordia had warning. Instead, its usual slow machinery kept turning until suddenly everyone was standing knee-deep in the consequences.

At the moment, Thrasher’s Heap has the leverage, which means somebody needs to stop posturing and start talking.

The public is already dividing over what should happen next. Some believe that, shady history aside, Thrasher’s Heap has a legitimate right to pursue sovereignty. Others want the Concordia to intervene and forcibly reopen the tunnel.

I understand the frustration, but force is not the answer. That road gets ugly very quickly.

What this needs is mediation. A serious conversation about sovereignty, regulation, waste access, and what each side is actually willing to give up. There is room here for both parties to walk away with something.

I just hope Thrasher’s Heap does not manage to turn one landfill into a landslide of concessions.

Until then, keep the windows closed.

And that’s The Scoop.

Hey Everyone!

We are celebrating 20 amazing years of Papa Louie and his iconic customers who have shaped this beloved universe.

This week, we’re shining the spotlight on Ninjoy, who made her debut in the classic 2011 game Papa’s Freezeria! To celebrate our favorite crime fighter, we have created two new looks for her: the dazzling Golden Outfit and the nostalgic Spirit of ’06 Outfit!