Vol. I: Issue 036                                                                                             August 28th, 2026

Breaking news out of Ketona Beach, where limited re-entry has begun after Hurricane LePunch tore through the coastline last week.

Residents are now being allowed back in carefully, block by block, to assess the damage, collect what they can, and begin the long process of picking up the pieces. And I will tell you plainly, the scene here is staggering.

Hurricane LePunch absolutely battered this beach town and its neighboring communities. Since records began, Ketona Beach has never seen a storm leave destruction on this scale. Nearly every home, resort, and business within three blocks of the ocean has either been destroyed or left structurally unsound. Farther inland, buildings are facing heavy flood damage, roof loss, and broken windows.

Hundreds of locals have lost their homes, and the mayor’s office is now working with nearby motels to help house displaced residents. Officials say everyone is accounted for, a tremendous relief that they credit to the evacuation order and the people who took it seriously. In a storm this severe, that is no small thing.

But the recovery ahead is enormous.

Take for example the site of the Ketona Sunrider, one of the city’s oldest resorts, which stood along this shoreline for more than 100 years. Today, only a few support columns and the flagpole remain. For generations of families who came here summer after summer, it is a heartbreaking sight, and it is just one example of what Ketona Beach has lost.

City officials are now facing difficult questions about what comes next. Some structures can be repaired. Others will have to come down. Entire stretches of the beachfront may need to be rebuilt from the ground up, and that work could take years. In some areas, maybe longer.

The mayor has already made clear that Ketona Beach does not currently have the funds needed to restore the town to its former sun-drenched glory. For now, the focus is on cleanup, safety, and giving residents a chance to take stock of what remains. Because while the people of Ketona Beach are safe, the town they love has been changed in a way no one here will soon forget.

This is a painful chapter for Ketona Beach, but it is not the final one. The cleanup begins now, the rebuilding conversation starts next, and I’ll be here tracking every step of the recovery, because Duke’s Gotcha covered!
 

Hiya friends,

This has been a really difficult reporting week for Duke and me. My heart just keeps breaking for the people of Ketona Beach every time another damage report comes in. I know LePunch changed course and strengthened so quickly, but I still find myself wondering if there was something more I could have caught in the data, something that might have given everyone a little more time to board up another window or stack a few more sandbags. I just wish I could have done more.

For this week, we’re moving inland to Scrapple Hill, where some of the leftover moisture from LePunch has finally brought rain to an area that desperately needed it. It is still looking hot and muggy through much of the stretch, with clouds building from time to time and scattered showers and thunderstorms popping up through the weekend and into early next week.

It certainly is not the way anyone would have wanted the drought to ease, but hopefully the rain can at least bring a little relief to those dry fields and gardens around Scrapple Hill.

 

The Mumph here, and I am safe and sound back in Whiskview. My parents got out, that is the important part. Their Ketona Beach condo is going to need repairs, probably about a month’s worth, so for now they are staying with me.

Hambone and Lady Purrella are still not exactly sharing a friendship bracelet, but we are working on it. Hambone keeps trying to be polite, Lady Purrella keeps looking at him like he owes her money.

And Zepha, do not go beating yourself up. You did the best you could with the information you had. Nobody saw that turn coming, and I mean nobody.

Now, baseball. Tacodale came out swinging and never let Toastwood breathe.

The Hardshells put up four in the second, Toastwood scratched one back in the third, and then Cilantru took over from the mound. Calm, sharp, and never gave the Turkeys enough room to turn one run into a rally.

Tacodale added one more in the seventh, then blew the doors open with four in the eighth. That is how you turn a good lead into a done deal. The Hardshells’ bats stayed patient, the defense stayed clean, and Toastwood just could not string enough together.

Final score, Tacodale Hardshells 9, Toastwood Turkeys 1. Winner, Tacodale. MVP, Cilantru.

My two cents, after a rough week all around, a clean, lopsided ballgame is not the worst thing to come home to. Tacodale handled business, and The Mumph is glad to be back at the desk.