Vol. I: Issue 043                                                                                             October 16th, 2026

Breaking news out of Starlight City, where records were shattered Wednesday during an art auction featuring works by the mysterious street artist RypToe.

By the time the final gavel fell, RypToe’s works had sold for a combined $2,508,013, an extraordinary showing for an artist who, not all that long ago, was better known for leaving mysterious pieces on city walls than hanging them inside galleries.

Then last night came another surprise.

Quinn, of Just Quinn and Associates, held a press briefing on behalf of her famously absent client. RypToe, as you might expect, was nowhere to be seen, but Quinn arrived with an announcement that certainly got everyone’s attention.

After keeping $250,000 from his share of the auction, RypToe is donating everything else to two causes. Thirty percent will go to Foodini’s Save-A-Snackimal Foundation, while the remaining 70 percent will support Georgito’s Ketona Counterpunch Project, helping with the ongoing recovery and rebuilding effort in Ketona Beach.

Both Foodini and Georgito joined Quinn onstage to accept a pair of appropriately oversized checks on behalf of their organizations.

For an artist who never speaks publicly and seems perfectly comfortable letting his work do the talking, this may be one of RypToe’s clearest statements yet. His identity remains a mystery, but where he wants much of his newfound success to go is now anything but.

I’ll be keeping an eye on where these donations make an impact, and on whatever RypToe decides to leave us next, because Duke’s Gotcha covered!

 

Hiya friends!

Well, my day just got a whole lot sunnier!

The Cookie Scouts sent over the upcoming box art for my JamBones, and can you believe how cute it is?! Seeing my little cookies all dressed up and ready for Cookie Scouts to start selling is still completely surreal to me. I may have stared at the box for an embarrassing amount of time.

Now, let’s head over to Tacodale, where the week starts off warm and breezy, with Saturday feeling especially toasty for late October.

 

 

That does come with a catch, though, because a strong front rolls through later in the day with thunderstorms and brings a pretty noticeable cool-down behind it. After that, things settle into a much calmer stretch, with plenty of sunshine, crisp mornings, and comfortable afternoons through most of the week.

So enjoy that little burst of warmth while it lasts, then get ready for a much more fall-like feel to settle in over Tacodale.

 

The Mumph here, and hey, things are looking pretty bright for me too. Congrats again, Zepha. I am already foreseeing a whole lot of those boxes finding their way into my pantry.

But I have some big news of my own, folks. This Sunday, The Mumph is stepping back behind the announce desk for W8W, and not just for any old show. I’ll be calling the play-by-play at Rumble in the Ring, one of their big pay-per-view extravaganzas.

Last time I did this, I was learning the sport on the fly. Now? Whole different story. I’ve been watching the tapes, learning the lingo, picking up the move names, and somewhere along the way I went from “hey, this wrestling stuff is pretty fun” to yelling at my television over missed tags and bad ring positioning. I am pumped, folks. Headset on, bell rings, let’s go.

But first, baseball, and holy smokes, Oniontown and Powder Point gave us a pitcher’s duel.

 

 

Eight full innings, nothing. Zeroes everywhere. Spumano and Levain just kept trading clean frames, and by the ninth it felt like one mistake, one lucky bounce, one well-placed ball was going to decide the whole thing.

Then Oniontown finally scratches one across in the top of the ninth. One run. That was it. Spumano comes back out with the lead and finishes the job, putting one last zero on the board for Powder Point.

Final score, Oniontown Crushers 1, Powder Point Woollies 0. Winner, Oniontown. MVP, Spumano on the mound. Crushers move to 1 and 2, Woollies fall to 1 and 2.

My two cents, when your offense gives you exactly one run and you make it enough, you earned that MVP. Spumano was nails.

 

Hello out there…

Well, I suppose I finally have to say the name I have been avoiding for quite some time…NNQ.

News Never Quits is a little Oniontown operation that has grown considerably over the last five years, largely by understanding one very simple rule: an outrageous headline travels faster than a correction.

You may remember their infamous “Papa’s Meltdown” video, the supposedly explosive footage that our investigative team later demonstrated was a NuPT-generated hoax. NNQ ran with it anyway. That has always been my issue with their brand of journalism. Get the headline first. Ask whether it is true somewhere farther down the priority list. This week, apparently, it was our turn.

NNQ published a story about NowTime News that mentioned yours truly more than once and suggested that this company somehow benefits financially from portraying Oniontown in a negative light. According to their theory, stirring up trouble in Oniontown means more readers, more advertising, and more money.

There is one small problem with that narrative. I actually like Oniontown.

I spent my college years there. I have praised its people, its art scene, its grit, and the energy that makes it unlike anywhere else on Gurth. Have I also reported on corruption, questionable businesses, and things happening in its backyard that deserve scrutiny? Absolutely. That is not defamation. That is reporting.

NNQ also managed to label NowTime News a collection of “vigilante-harboring elitists,” which I admit is a creative arrangement of words. I assume that particular jab is aimed at my long-standing support for Ninjoy, so let me make something very clear: I am Team Ninjoy. Me. Shannon. That opinion is mine and does not automatically become the position of everyone who signs a paycheck in this building.

And the suggestion that NowTime News is secretly sheltering Ninjoy while I manipulate stories to keep her out of trouble?

Really?

I have defended Ninjoy when the evidence supported her. I have questioned authorities when their version of events left inconvenient details on the cutting-room floor. If NNQ has evidence that I fabricated any of those details, withheld something important, or knowingly misled my readers, I would genuinely like to see it.

Not insinuations. Not anonymous whispers. Not a headline designed to make people angry enough to click. Evidence.

Because that is the difference between investigating someone and simply deciding what story you would like to tell about them.

NNQ says News Never Quits.

Good.

Neither do I.

And that’s The Scoop.