Vol. I: Issue 014                                                                                             March 27th, 2026

Breaking news out of Oniontown. An arrest was made last night inside the Gingersnap Lounge at the corner of Chantilly Pass and Brookie Square, and sources say the individual taken into custody may be connected to the NowTime Newsletter hack on February 27, 2026.

Earlier this week, investigators identified the hacker behind the disruption by the alias λλB5. Authorities have not confirmed further details publicly, but if a conviction is secured, the defendant could face felony charges and a prison sentence of up to four years.

Now, in the interest of due process, NowTime News has chosen not to disclose the name of the person arrested at this time. That is the responsible move, and it is the one we are standing by.

A court date is currently scheduled for Wednesday, May 27, 2026. And you can count on me to follow every development as this case moves forward, because Duke’s Gotcha covered!

 

Hiya friends!

Well, I finally found the time to try my hand at making those Powder Point lambchops, and let’s just say it did not exactly become my signature dish. Sorry, Mumphrey, but those things were absolutely not edible. I even posted a few pictures over on HeadCase, so go take a peek if you dare. And no, they were not supposed to be pepper-crusted. That was just me getting a little too ambitious with the pepper shaker.

Speaking of pepper, let’s head over to New Pepperton and see what the weather has cooking this week.

It’s looking like a fairly mild stretch overall, but not without a few gray skies and rainy interruptions along the way. The weekend and start of the week look a little damp and drizzly, then things begin to turn around as we head into the back half of the week, with milder air and a nicer little warm-up settling in.

So keep the umbrella close early on, then get ready for a more pleasant finish once that brighter weather rolls into town.

 

The Mumph here, and before I get into the hockey, I’ve gotta tip the cap to some hoops. Big one last weekend, Burgerburgh High Dumplings go back to back and take State Champs for the second straight year. Congrats, kids. That is a grind, and they earned it.

Now, over at Griller Stadium, we got a game that started even and ended Kraken. Calypso and Oniontown were tied 1 to 1 after the first, then Calypso turned the second period into a wave. They jump to a 3 to 2 lead after two, then shut the door in the third to finish it off.

Brulard was the engine on the back end, and that is why he gets the MVP. Crisp stretch passes, tight gaps, and he kept turning Oniontown’s exits into Calypso re entries. Cremer and Conary finished off the good looks off the rush, and Calypso’s puck movement started to wear the Ringers down shift by shift.

Oniontown got some early life because Chillcott was standing on his head for a bit, a few saves that should have been goals, but Calypso kept leaning on them with that cycle, kept pucks alive, and eventually something had to give.

Final score, Calypso Island Krakens 4, Oniontown Ringers 2. Winner, Calypso. My two cents, when you have a defenseman moving pucks like Brulard and you keep the pressure on all night, you are going to break teams sooner or later.

And Zepha, don’t get discouraged in the kitchen, reps are reps, same as shooting pucks, you miss a hundred before you start picking corners.

 

Hello out there…

What a journey Expedition Munchmore turned out to be.

We went from excitement, to silence, to mounting questions, to finally getting the full picture. And now that the dust has settled, I think it is fair to say those “incidents” Gigaloaf Labs kept referring to were not minor hiccups dressed up in corporate language. We are talking about Ripley’s imprisonment at Fort Onion, and the mishandling of damaged warp portals that sent an unknown number of Snackimals into our world, and perhaps some of our own creatures into theirs.

Yes, we knew from the beginning that Ripley made it home safely. But knowing the ending is not the same thing as understanding the road that got her there. And now that we do understand more of it, I find myself feeling even more for her, not less. What she endured was bigger, stranger, and more dangerous than anyone was willing to admit at the start.

What troubles me most is how much chaos seems to have followed from a single downed beacon. One failure. Multiple worlds affected. That is not the kind of detail a careful person reads past lightly.

So I followed up with Gigaloaf Labs. After a bit of poking, prodding, and the usual effort it takes to get a straight answer out of an institution, I learned they are now sending crews out to inspect and reinforce every beacon they installed. I am also told they are adding backup beacons in case something like this happens again. That is reassuring, to a point. But it is also the kind of measure that tells you the risk was real enough to demand it.

And as for the lost Snackimals still caught up in all this, please consider supporting Foodini’s Save-A-Snackimal Foundation. He and Prizella are doing meaningful work, and this feels like one of those moments when goodwill ought to come with action.

I will keep watching. And that’s The Scoop.