Vol. I: Issue 018                                                                                             April 24th, 2026

Duke Gotcha here, and for many of you, this next story will ring a bell.

A few years back, San Fresco Wharf became the center of one of the strangest and most talked-about stories of the time. It all began in late spring, when Papa’s Paleteria opened its doors and launched a popsicle stick contest to draw in the crowds. The prize was no small trinket either, a custom-made, golden Paleta Pendant. But before the celebration could fully settle in, the whole thing took a sharp turn. A hungry white sea lion named Toby came barreling through the crowd in search of a cool treat, snatched the pendant in the chaos, and swam off with the prize, and the headlines, close behind.

What followed was a nearly year-long chase led by Papa Louie himself, with Toby sightings popping up all across Gurth. One week he was a nuisance, the next he was a celebrity. News reports tracked his every move, the public became fascinated, and before long the so-called pendant thief had built up a surprisingly devoted online following. In the end, when Toby was finally cornered, Papa Louie put the whole saga to rest in classic style by offering him a gleaming pendant made in Toby’s own likeness. And just like that, the chase was over.

But around here, I get asked a question time and time again. Whatever happened to Toby?

So I headed to San Fresco Wharf to find out for myself. As it turns out, Toby was not difficult to track down. In fact, I heard him before I ever saw him. Floating over the water was the unmistakable sound of a harmonica, and once I followed it, there he was. The same bold, self-assured sea lion the public remembers, still proudly wearing his Toby Pendant. Only now, he has added a few extra touches to the look. Toby was sporting a pair of red-tinted shades and a harmonica holder around his neck, giving him the air of a seaside showman who knows exactly how to make an entrance.

And make no mistake, Toby has become a performer.

When I arrived, he was perched on a rocky outcrop near the east end of the Wharf, serenading a small gathering of female sea lions and amused tourists with his own harmonica rendition of the Romano Family Quartet classic, A Walk in the Field. Locals tell me Toby discovered pretty quickly that the pendant drew attention, and once he got a taste for the spotlight, he began experimenting with new ways to keep the crowd coming. These days, around noon, you can usually find him out there putting on a show and collecting treats and tips in return.

Now, Toby was not available for a formal sit-down interview, at least not in the traditional sense. But when I asked whether he was enjoying his newfound fame, he fixed me with a long look, tilted down those red shades, and gave me a nod and a wink that said more than words ever could. By all appearances, Toby is living very, very well.

And really, stories like this are a reminder of why I love this job. The Gurth is full of unforgettable characters, and sometimes the strangest headlines have the most surprising second act. As for Toby, it looks like the former pendant thief has traded notoriety for showmanship, and from where I stood, he seems quite happy with the arrangement. And if his story takes another unexpected turn, you can count on me to be there for it, because Duke’s Gotcha covered!

 

Hiya friends!

So this week over on Calypso Island, the Surf Shack is hosting its Big Wave Rodeo, and I may or may not also be going on my first date with Finley. So yes, I am a little nervous. But honestly, not nearly as nervous as I’ll be watching those surfers head out and tackle some of the biggest waves on the planet.

As for the weather, it is looking hot, humid, and very island summer all week long. We’ve got that classic mix of sunshine, sticky air, and those little pop-up shower and thunderstorm chances that like to drift in and out whenever they please. A few stretches look a little wetter than others, especially around the start of the new week, but overall it still feels like a very warm, tropical week with plenty of beachy energy.

So keep the sunscreen close, stay ready for a few quick downpours, and settle in for a week that feels very warm, very splashy, and very Calypso.

 

The Mumph here, and wow, folks, spring shows up and suddenly the whole world wants to play a sport at once. You got hoops wrapping up, baseball talk creeping in, and the one that always gets me fired up is kart racing. Tacodale Speedway is kicking off their first big tournament of the season, and those coin covered courses have me daydreaming. Man, what I would not give to have a kart of my own and take a few laps out there. Maybe it is time I head over to the Greasy Gear and do a little browsing.

Alright, postseason hockey, Savory League quarterfinals at Griller Stadium, and Oilseed Springs handled business.

This one was tied 1 to 1 after the first, then the Fryers hit the second period like a pressure cooker. They take a 3 to 2 lead after two, and then they clamp it down and finish it 4 to 2. Filion and Cutler were a problem on the forecheck all night, forcing turnovers deep and keeping Burgerburgh from getting clean exits. On the back end, Dillwyn and Crispell kept the gaps tight, took away the rush lanes, and made the Iceburgs earn every entry the hard way.

Burgerburgh did not go quietly. Bunson and Pattyberg tried to drag them back into it late, but Sorby had the answer, calm, square, and sharp when the looks finally got dangerous. That is why he gets the MVP, because when the push came, he shut the door.

Final score, Oilseed Springs Fryers 4, Burgerburgh Iceburgs 2. Winner, Oilseed Springs. MVP, Sorby.

My two cents, that is playoff hockey. Win the second period, protect the middle, and let your goalie finish the sentence.

 

Hello out there…

Anyone who follows my work already knows I am not exactly inclined to give NuBetcha the benefit of the doubt. That feeling did not begin with the Newsletter hack, though having my column twisted into the voice of a bargain-bin sports book pitch certainly did not help. The truth is, I have long had a problem with the whole quick-trap logic of sports betting apps, those sleek little funnels built to separate people from their money one impulsive tap at a time. NuBetcha is hardly alone in that business. But if you asked me which one gives off the strongest smell of trouble, I would not hesitate.

The first red flag is right there in the name. That little prefix, “Nu,” traces back to none other than NuMarcus, a man whose fingerprints seem to turn up anywhere there is money to be skimmed, squeezed, or spirited away. NuGlance. NuCoop. NuCash. A graveyard of shiny ventures and public messes. If there is a shortcut to profit at someone else’s expense, NuMarcus has rarely been far from the blueprint.

Now, before I go any further, our legal team at Just Quinn and Associates has advised me to note that these views are my own and do not necessarily reflect those of NowTime News.

Duly noted. Now let us continue.

Because once I started looking into NuBetcha itself, the structure around it felt every bit as slippery as the name suggested. I expected to find NuMarcus somewhere in the paperwork, perhaps tucked into a filing, perhaps lurking behind a title designed to mean as little as possible. Instead, his name was nowhere to be found. On paper, NuBetcha is owned by a shell company called Whelkrock Holdings LLC. Pull on that thread, and Whelkrock leads to two more entities, Nutilus Industries Inc. and Junonia Financial Ltd. Pull on those, and the trail keeps branching into the usual tangle of offshore registrations, partial ownership stakes, and corporate arrangements so murky they seem designed less for business than for concealment.

It is a maze, and not an accidental one. This is the sort of paperwork that does not become confusing by chance. It becomes confusing because someone wants it that way. And while I cannot yet point to the exact line where NuMarcus reappears, I would be very surprised if his name were not buried somewhere in that paper swamp.

But the most interesting detail was not buried offshore. It was local.

The listed business addresses for both Nutilus and Junonia pointed to a pair of apparently vacant warehouses on the same stretch of road in Oniontown, Heaps Point Ave. And if that street name sounds familiar, it should. At the end of Heaps Point Ave sits the city’s utility Quickskip tunnel to Thrasher’s Heap.

Coincidence? Perhaps. But by now you know my feelings on coincidences, especially the kind that cluster together this neatly.

So the real questions remain. Where is NuMarcus? How is he still able to exert influence over ventures like NuBetcha after the fraud allegations and his conveniently timed disappearance? And how many of these strange little corporate trails lead not away from Thrasher’s Heap, but straight toward it?

Those are the questions that keep my notebook open and my shovel moving. When I hit something solid, you will hear about it.

And that’s The Scoop.