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By Flipline_Tony, January 16, 2026 1:29 pm

Vol. I: Issue 004                                                                                             January 16th, 2026

On Tuesday, Portallini unveiled a new bronze sculpture of legendary explorer Neptune Gallioni, and it is turning heads. The occasion marks the 500th anniversary of his famous circumnavigation, yes, that one. The voyage that started with his cylindrical Gurth theory and the promise of a shorter trade route from Portallini to Fort Briny.

Now, you know how the story goes. The cylinder idea did not make it all the way to the finish line. But the trip did prove the Gurth was a sphere, and a big one. Gallioni pushed on, and six months later, with nearly 20,000 nautical miles behind him, he finally rolled into Fort Briny worn out, half delirious, and in need of serious care. They nursed him back to health, and then, because history loves a final twist, he took a five month wagon ride back home to Portallini.

If you want to see the new sculpture in person, head on down to Portallini, but be ready for a crowd. The extended Neptune’s Feast celebration is pulling in visitors from all over. And that’s my tip for you, because Duke’s Gotcha covered.

Hiya friends! Neptune’s Feast is sounding extra delicious right now. Last year, Papa’s Pastaria had the BEST crab mezzalune, oh my gosh, it was amazing.

Weather-wise, it’s looking like a partly sunny weekend over in Portallini, which is perfect festival weather. But let’s head north and check in with our friends in Sakura Bay. It looks like that slow-moving low pressure system off the coast is taking its good old time, which means yet another rain-filled week for our bay-side buddies.

Fingers crossed this is the last soggy stretch for a while. Until then, keep those umbrellas handy and those cozy plans ready.

The Mumph here, and I’m calling this one from the couch today, folks. Home sick, blanket on, tea in reach, and my bulldog, Hambone, parked right next to me like he’s the assistant coach. We fired up the game at Griller Stadium yesterday and the Tacodale Supremes take it 4 to 2 over the Toastwood Veggie Dogz. Winner, Tacodale. MVP, Piconi.

Piconi was the driver when it mattered most, and it was not just the offense either. On the blue line, he was controlling gaps, breaking up entries, and snapping out clean first passes that turned defense into instant rush chances. Masden and Corvan did their part too, pinning Toastwood in their own end with long cycles and crisp zone entries that kept the Veggie Dogz chasing and changing.

Toastwood had some life, though. Rennard gave them a spark with a few dangerous rushes that had me sitting up, and Hambone lifting his head like, “Hold on now.” But every time it started to get interesting, Tacodale shut the lanes down late and kept the middle locked up.

And let’s give Comino his credit. When Toastwood pressed in the third, Comino came up with timely saves to preserve the lead and keep this one from getting weird.

My two cents, Toastwood has speed, but if they cannot turn those rushes into second chances and greasy goals, they are going to keep running into nights like this. Tacodale earns it, 4 to 2, and that is a solid win you can build on.

Hello out there!

This past fall, I took part in a series of interviews for an upcoming documentary called Ninjoy For All. And yes, I know what you are thinking. A documentary. A camera crew. A careful edit. A story that can be shaped into whatever the director needs it to be. That is exactly why I am telling you this myself.

As you all know by now, I have been on Team Ninjoy since the very first sightings. While everyone else was giving her a bad reputation, like it was the only story worth telling, I saw through the clouds of hyperbole and witnessed her good deeds firsthand. Now, I am not condoning vigilantism. I am simply stating a fact. Tastyville can only deal with the demented hijinks of The Dynamoe for so long before someone, official or otherwise, starts filling the gaps.

And before anyone starts whispering about motives, let me be clear. I was not paid for my time. My interview was not scripted, not coached, and not pressured into shape by the crew. I said what I said because it is what I believe.

You will be able to catch my big screen debut at the Sugarplex Filmfest in New Pepperton this year. If you go, do me one favor. Watch closely. Pay attention to what is said, and what is not said. That is where the real story usually lives.

And that’s The Scoop.

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By Flipline_Tony, January 9, 2026 11:21 am

Vol. I: Issue 003                                                                                             January 9th, 2026

DOWT crews responded overnight to a malfunctioning Quickskip tunnel at Oniontown’s Grand Central Junction, and let me tell you, it was a messy one. The glitch stranded several dozen motorists who thought they were headed for Toastwood, only to pop out on the unexpectedly icy streets of Frostfield instead.

Workers say they should have the tunnel back in shape within the next hour after a long night of recalibrating the tunnel’s coin conductor and running repeated test jumps. Now here’s the part you need to know. This is the third tunnel problem in the last two months at Grand Central Junction, and that prompted a press conference with Mayor Chip O’llini.

I asked the mayor what steps are being taken to make sure this does not keep happening. His answer? They are looking into ways to increase funding to update the infrastructure. We’ll see if that turns into action, because when drivers are getting rerouted into an icebox at midnight, “looking into it” is not exactly a comfort.

Stay sharp, and stay tuned. Duke’s Gotcha covered.

Hiya friends, and happy Friday! Whew, not the Quickskipper again. Just last month, my crew and I were stuck in the van for five hours driving to Tacodale the old fashioned way, and let’s just say I learned exactly how many snacks a weather team can go through in one afternoon.

Speaking of Tacodale, the big Chimi Challenge Race is rolling into town this weekend, and I know all you cyclists are itching to know what the weather has planned in that neck of the woods. Good news, it’s looking mild and dry. Saturday is mostly sunny with a high of 54 degrees, which is just about perfect for a comfortable ride and a happy finish line.

Here is your seven day forecast for all you Tacodalians!

The Mumph here, and buckle up, folks, because this one was a pure nail-biter. Final at Griller Stadium on January 8, 2026: the Starlight City Jackpots squeak past the Tastyville Cold Cuts, 4 to 3. Winner, Starlight City. MVP, Zestler.

Zestler was the engine when the game got tight, driving the offense right when it mattered most, and then turning around and doing real work on the blue line too. Drummond and Perigo helped set the tone by keeping Tastyville pinned in their own end with those long, grinding cycles and crisp zone entries that make a defense feel like it is chasing headlights.

And let’s talk about Bufford for a second. Tastyville started pressing in the third, the ice tilted, the building got loud, and Bufford answered with timely saves that kept the Jackpots in front. That is the kind of goaltending that turns a close game into a win you can actually take home.

Credit to Mariner on the Cold Cuts side, too. He brought a spark with a few dangerous rushes that had Starlight City on their heels, but when it came time to lock it down, the Jackpots closed lanes late and kept the dangerous stuff to the outside.

My two cents, wins like this do not just look good in the standings, they build a team’s confidence fast. Starlight City earned this one the hard way, and that is the kind of result that sticks with you.

Hello out there!

You may have missed this little blip of news last week, what with so much coverage focused on the ongoing issues at the GCJ, but there was another traffic incident that deserves a second look. A garbage truck broke down on the Briny Gate Bridge, blocking traffic and turning the morning commute into a slow crawl. Nothing too crazy, right? A mechanical failure, a few honks, a shrug, and everyone moves on.

Except I was on the scene with my trusty camera, and I got a look at what that garbage truck was actually hauling.

I do not pretend to be an expert on motorcycles, but I know enough to recognize what looked like two brand new choppers, wrapped in plastic, sitting in the back like they were being protected, not discarded. Since when do pristine bikes ride with banana peels and busted boxes? Since when does trash get bubble wrapped?

And that brings me to a different question, one people rarely ask out loud. Do you know where all the trash goes? All those burnt pizzas have to go somewhere, right? The spoiled lettuce, the broken gadgets, the things we toss without thinking, the things we are told vanish the moment the lid closes.

Well, I did some digging. Most of the country’s waste is sent to a tiny “uninhabited” island far off the coast of Oniontown called Thrasher’s Heap. I use the term ‘uninhabited’ loosely, because that is the official description, and I am not sure I buy it.

Local fishermen steer clear of the island, but a few have mentioned seeing faint lights in the distance on certain nights. Officials wave this off as nothing more than a byproduct of the landfill, pockets of methane and other gases igniting now and then. And I am not here to spin ghost stories or chase will o’ the wisps across the sea.

But I am here to tell you that something feels off. Brand new choppers do not belong in a garbage truck. Lights do not belong on an uninhabited island. And when too many details fail to fit the shape of the official story, that is when I start taking notes.

I will keep looking into it. And that’s The Scoop.

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By Flipline_Tony, January 2, 2026 8:46 am

Vol. I: Issue 002                                                                                             January 2nd, 2026

Welcome to the Nowtime Newsletter, and Happy New Year to all our readers! 2025 was quite a year. It turned out to be a big one for reboots, with blockbuster hits like Meteor Blastor: Blastlands and the smash game Jacksmith: Weapons and Warriors, which had eager gamers lined up around the block outside Papa Louie’s Arcade on launch day. And in what’s quickly becoming a favorite new tradition, this snowy stretch of the calendar marks the arrival of Snowfolk tourists who feel right at home in these frigid temperatures.

We’re looking forward to being with you all through 2026, reporting all the latest news and events as they unfold. So if you’re looking for the latest breaking news, just remember… Duke’s Gotcha covered!.

Hiya friends! My first official weather report for Nowtime News, how exciting! Overall, we’re looking at some pretty chilly temperatures, with highs in the single digits for Frostfield. Even Ketona Beach is feeling the cool-down, with highs in the mid sixties.

Still, those crisp temps make the perfect backdrop for the yearly ice sculpture displays throughout Maple Mountain. So let’s take a peek at the seven day forecast over in that neck of the woods!

The Mumph here, and we are officially back, folks. First game of the year, New Year’s Day, Savory League action at Griller Stadium, and the Burgerburgh Iceburgs come out swinging. Final score: Iceburgs 4, Portallini Tridents 1. MVP goes to Kayser.

Kayser brought that game-breaking punch when it mattered, and Burgerburgh did all the little things that win you hockey. Bunson and Pattyberg had the Tridents pinned in their own end with long, grinding cycles, plus crisp zone entries that kept Portallini chasing shadows. On the blue line, Searburn was a problem all night, tight gaps, smart reads, and first passes so clean they kicked off rushes before Portallini could even set up.

And between the pipes, Kayser was calm, square, and basically told the Tridents, “Not tonight.” Molinaro did try to give the Tridents a spark with a few dangerous rushes, but Burgerburgh closed lanes late and shut the doors.

My two cents, Portallini has to find a way to generate something other than “one guy, one rush,” because that will not cut it in this league. Big opening win, big momentum, and the Iceburgs start the year with a statement.

Hello out there!

Over the holiday break, I finally did some end of year cleaning, the kind you put off because you know what is lurking in the piles. Years ago, I converted my guest bedroom into what I now call the Black Box, within it’s chalkboard painted walls, the unknown goes in and answers come out.

While I was sorting through stacks of cold cases, one folder caught my eye like it wanted to be found. “The Lost Expedition.” Inside were my notes on the famed Expedition Munchmore, led by the adventurous Ripley. It has been 940 days, by my count, since the transmissions went quiet and the story stopped in the middle of a sentence.

Sure, we all know Ripley is safe and sound, enjoying a popsicle on the old wharf, smiling like nothing ever happened. But when she is asked about the expedition, she politely says she is not able to speak of it. Not that she will not. Not that she does not want to. Not able. And that is the kind of wording that makes my pen pause.

So here is what keeps me up, scooping through the dark with a flashlight and a bad feeling. What is Gigaloaf Labs hiding, and why did they make Ripley sign an NDA? The truth is somewhere, my fellow Scoopers, and we will find it. I have already contacted Gigaloaf Labs and demanded the release of the remaining transmissions, but only time will tell if those files ever see the light of day.

In the meantime, keep digging. And that’s The Scoop.